Katie Bice: Fools on Married at First Sight make us all look good
IF you think your partner is a dead loss, watch Married at First Sight and you’ll appreciate your loved one like never before, writes Katie Bice.
Opinion
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RELATIONSHIP on the rocks? Headed for divorce? Wish your partner would appreciate you more? Don’t lose sleep or waste money on a counsellor — the answer to your woes is on Channel 9 at 7.30pm.
One look at the contestants on Married At First Sight is certain to get any partnership back on track.
Because nothing will make you realise how lucky you are to have each other than a glimpse at what’s on the other side of the fence.
KATIE BICE: IDIOTS ARE EVERYWHERE AND THEY ARE WINNING
DEAN DOESN’T CARE WHAT AUSTRALIA THINKS OF HIM
REALITY BITES FOR MARRIED AT FIRST SIGHT’S TRACEY
The grass is not greener my friends, it is filled with bindies and patches of artificial turf.
It’s mostly obvious why they are all single. Apart from being a self-absorbed bunch, they also spend half their wages on hair product. And that’s the blokes.
The women have princess complexes, bang on about finding Prince Charming and are either so clingy it’s suffocating or so distracted they forget who they are supposed to be married to.
Davina and Dean, the “cheaters”, deserve each other and a gaudy riverfront home on the Gold Coast where they can work out and admire themselves in the mirror.
But things will be difficult because Dean will have trouble fitting a wife into his life between weights sessions, fist pumps and texting other women.
He says he was being “honest” with himself in pursuing Davina. We would like to be honest with him and point out he’s a knob.
We are supposed to feel sorry for spurned Tracey but it’s hard when we’re so distracted by the fact she can’t close her mouth properly. And anyone who thinks their relationship has a chance when their partner writes “leave” on a card and kisses someone else repeatedly has probably also had silicon injected into her brain.
Our millionaire entrepreneur only has one true love, his soft-serve ice cream machine. Teeth brusher Troy will find happiness when the marriage laws change and he can marry himself.
They are all a sorry example of single life and a reminder that we often don’t know what we’ve got until its gone.
When you’re spending decades together, the smallest annoyances can become reasons for a split.
Men who leave towels on the floor or dishes in the sink morph from thoughtless husbands into slobs who think you’re there to clean up after them.
Women who take too long to get ready or moan about chores become wives who don’t appreciate how busy you are. But when the alternative is a disaster on legs, it’s probably easier just to pick up the towel.
Katie Bice is Sunday Herald Sun deputy editor
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