Idiots are everywhere and they are winning as we clean up their mess
IDIOTS are everywhere and what’s worse, their lives seem to be working out perfectly, writes Katie Bice.
Opinion
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SOMETIMES when you look around, all you see are idiots. Needy, brainless twits who get in your way, slow things down and make everything — literally everything — harder than it should be.
They are the type of people who amaze and frighten you at the same time. Because, while they are adults, it’s difficult to imagine they can actually get themselves fed and dressed in the morning.
Mostly they are aimless, unable to focus on more than one thing at a time. They are an annoyance, a mere distraction in life.
But sometimes the idiots go on the attack. They are everywhere you turn, on the road, on the train, on the footpath. You’re besieged in your own home, at work, at the coffee shop, on TV.
They make even the simplest task you are trying to complete impossible to achieve.
If I were a better person I may find their idiocy appealing in its quirk or amusing in its infantile idiosyncrasies. Unfortunately for them I am not a good person.
They do things that no person with a brain would ever dream of — like paying for a storage facility, not getting insurance, going grocery shopping almost every day or taking one of those suitcases on wheels on a peak-hour train.
They flood your Facebook feed with call-outs for advice on the most tedious of topics and they’re that person at the front of a long queue asking 1000 questions like they have no idea there are other people waiting.
There are few things more infuriating than dealing with an idiot. When there are five ways to do something right, they’ll find a way to screw it up or make it take twice as long. They hunt in packs, drawn to each other like birds in mating season.
But that’s not the worst bit. What’s so incomprehensible is that their lives are better than ours. They are oblivious to how silly they are and that means they skip through life without a care.
They have no concept of time so they don’t mind if they’re late, running behind or missing a deadline. They do less work and we let them get away with it, because in the end it’s easier for us to step in and carry them than clean up their mess.
And they are always happy because they never blame themselves for anything.
Oh, how glorious it would be to be an idiot.
Katie Bice is Sunday Herald Sun deputy editor
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