Top Blokes forums teaching boys what a healthy relationship between a man and a woman looks like

Experts are teaching teen boys what a healthy relationship between a man and a woman looks like amid the increasing accessibility of porn.

Teen boys have begun working in months-long workshops with experts who are teaching them in NSW classrooms what a healthy relationship between a man and a woman looks like amid the increasing accessibility of porn.

The Top Blokes Foundation hosts forums in schools across the state for between three and six months at a time, talking to boys about various issues such as their mental health and also how to treat women with respect.

For many boys, their ideas about what a normal relationship should be has completely changed by the end of the program, while others learn how to regulate their anger and emotions, organisers told The Sunday Telegraph.

Top Blokes Foundation NSW state manager Daniel Allars said explaining to boys what is often depicted in porn is not normal is key – and that trust and clear communication are integral to an actual normal relationship.

“Pornography is a big issue for young boys and, consequently, for young girls as well,” he said.

A young man looks at a porn website on a smartphone. “Pornography is a big issue for young boys and, consequently, for young girls as well.” Picture: Marcus Brandt/picture alliance via Getty Images

“There’s a real sense among the young boys that this is a real problem and that many of them want help, but don’t know who to go to, or who to have an open conversation with about their consumption of pornography.

Daniel Allars of Top Blokes Foundation. Picture: LinkedIn

“We teach them that what’s depicted isn’t what a healthy relationship looks like and can often lead them to push their partner into things that they’re not really comfortable with.”

During the workshops, boys are also taught not just about physical violence, but other less obvious problems such as coercive control, emotional and financial abuse.

Mr Allars said they clearly explained to the boys what they should be aiming for when loving someone or dating someone in a healthy way.

“We don’t look at things through the lens of ‘Don’t do this, or don’t be that person’, it’s about defining what communication, connection, trust and vulnerability looks like in a relationship,” Mr Allars said.

“We then move into a space that isn’t showing any of these traits that we want – and the impact that can have.”

Mr Allars, who is a father of two girls himself, said he would be “terrified” about their futures if he didn’t have an opportunity to work with teen boys himself.

“It’d be very hard if I didn’t get the chance to sit down with boys and talk about their stuff all the time,” he said.

Top Blokes forums teaching boys what a healthy relationship between a man and a woman looks like

“There is a lot of hope when you actually talk to young men and create a space for them, it will surprise you how open they are to the conversation, and how much they want to do the right thing.

“They want to have healthy relationships, they just don’t know how. So the more we can give them tools and experiences to help them, they will do it.”

Do you have a story for The Telegraph? Message 0481 056 618 or email [e-mail]

Originally published as Top Blokes forums teaching boys what a healthy relationship between a man and a woman looks like