Former girlfriend of Collingwood’s Alan Didak says being an AFL WAG like being in a ‘cult’

EXCLUSIVE: The former girlfriend of Collingwood star Alan Didak has lashed the “cult” of footballing partners and the sexist AFL culture, slamming the unrealistic scrutiny that comes with dating a player.

Cassie Lane, former girlfriend of Collingwood’s Alan Didak, has written a revealing new book. Picture: Tim Carrafa

• Dane Swan admits to taking drugs, addresses off-field rumours
• Dane Swan book extract: ‘I wanted Mick Malthouse to stay on’
• Behind the Brownlow: Haylea Cooney’s insider stories
• Abby Gilmore opens up about separation from Bulldog Jake Stringer

EXCLUSIVE: A FORMER WAG has lashed the “cult” of footballing partners and the sexist AFL culture.

Cassie Lane, who dated former Collingwood star Alan Didak, has spoken of the unrealistic pressure, scrutiny and expectation that comes with dating a footballer.

READ THE FULL EXTRACT FROM CASSIE’S BOOK

In an exclusive interview with the Sunday Herald Sun Ms Lane said the WAG title was not one she was ever comfortable with.

“It is like a cult,” she said. “It is a crazy world.

“You live in the shadow of your partner.

Alan and Cassie when they were together.

Cassie in a calendar modelling shot.

“I think the AFL culture is still very sexist, women are not represented well, they are under-represented even though they make up half of the supporter base.

“It is this glorified role, every Melbourne girl wants to be a WAG because we are taught it is this amazing, celebrated, venerated role, but actually when you get there you are celebrated not because of who you are, you are celebrated because of your partner’s achievements and there is a hierarchy.

“It is sort of like living in the 16th century. Your status is completely dependant on your partner.”

Ms Lane said the scrutiny and unrealistic pressure put on the wives and girlfriends of players caused her to doubt herself and she found it particularly debilitating as her relationship frayed.

“I was a mess,” she said.

“I kind of felt like I was failing at being what I was meant to be.

“At the time I constantly felt inadequate because I was not being a good enough wag. But I realise in hindsight all those aspirations were completely wrong, like I was not skinny enough, I was not a woman enough, I was not wearing the right designer clothes and representing my man enough, or looking after my man and he was angry and somehow that was a reflection on me.”

Lane and Didak were one of Melbourne’s highest profile young footy couples during their tempestuous 16-month romance between 2004 and 2006.

But Didak’s loved position in the team also made Ms Lane a target for passionate Collingwood fans.

“It (football) completely absorbs your life and you,” she said.

“People think because you are in the public eye you are automatically fair game and they can say anything they want to you and about you on the internet.

“It was a shock to have people on the street tell you that you are nothing, or you should be a better wag, and even some girlfriends inside the culture were like, ‘you need to suck it up, you need to be grateful’.”

The pair attended the Brownlow together in 2006 where Lane was labelled one of the worst dressed.

“The Brownlow is the yardstick of WAG success. That is what every woman aspires to, I think, which is so dumb, and then to fail at that …. that was pretty devastating,” she said.

“The only time you get an opportunity to assert yourself is by the clothes that you wear and by your face and your body.

“I modelled around the world but I never felt as self conscious about my body as I did when I was a WAG.”

Alan and Cassie at Collingwood's best and fairest evening at Crown.

Ms Lane says she bears no malice towards Didak about the end of their relationship.

“I feel terrible that he is someone that I even have to talk about but I think it is really important that I tell this story because the issues that we experienced, I think that the AFL culture contributed to a huge amount of that and not only did it influence our relationship it stopped us from being able to get help,” she said.

“When I first met Alan he was this beautiful shy guy — I did not even know he played football — and I did really fall in love with him.”

Modelling, which Lane had begun at age 16, then took the young beauty around the world, leading her to LA in the early 2000s where she signed with an agency and saw fame culture up close.

“We had access to the LA world where we were mingling with celebrities, travelling on private jets, had access to exclusive bars and house parties. It was amazing and fun and incredible,” she said.

“But after I had been there for a period of time I realised that it was so vacuous and it really lacked substance.

“LA is so image conscious. It is fame, wealth and beauty obsessed which was fun for a bit to dip my toe in but then when I started to yearn for some access to authenticity it really was nowhere to be found. It is an escapist lifestyle.”

Cassie Lane's new book — How to Dress a Dummy

She also experienced reality TV, being part of the cast of Temptation Island, an Australian dating show screened on Channel 7 that also featured Kyly Boldy, now Mrs Michael Clarke.

The premise of the show was to see if couples could be tempted to stray by alluring singles.

“I actually had a lot of fun filming that, but it was so ridiculous. If someone asked me I would never do it now,” she said.

“I was very young, I did not really understand what it was, we got a free trip to Fiji and free alcohol.”

READ THE FULL EXTRACT FROM CASSIE’S BOOK

Lane, who has studied psychology and communications and completed a Masters of Creative Writing, has written of her brush with wagdom in her debut book How To Dress A Dummy.

The book tells of her experiences as a young model in Europe and America, as a reality TV contestant, and as a participant in the original US Lingerie Bowl.

Lane, who is based in Melbourne with her partner, documentary maker, Luke Walker, also addresses the difficult issues of the objectification of women, the challenge to own your identity in male dominated industries, body issues, exploitation in the modelling industry, societal pressures, and the roles of women and partners in high profile sport.

How to Dress a Dummy, Affirm Press, RRP $29.99, available June 28.

Buy How to Dress a Dummy by Cassie Lane for $27.99 including delivery.

Order online at heraldsun.com.au or call 1300 306 107. For mail order, post a cheque/money order to: Herald Sun Shop, PO Box 14730, Melbourne VIC 8001