Behind the Brownlow: Haylea Cooney reveals insider memories from attending nine Brownlow counts

UNSURPRISINGLY I’ve never made the Brownlow Best Dressed list because I’m not much of a “fashionista”. One year I made the Worst Dressed list though and was totally embarrassed. I even shed a few tears.

I REMEMBER watching the Brownlow red carpet as a teenager in high school.

I imagined what it would be like to be on the arm of a handsome footballer, all the glitz and glam, beautiful gowns, makeup and hair, posing for the hundreds of photographers.

Fast forward 15 years and here I am attending my 10th Brownlow and on the arm of the most handsome footballer.

At my first ceremony in 2005 as a young and naive girl from Adelaide, I was swiftly put in my place by a senior WAG at the time.

Referring to my relatively low cut dress, she said: “Well, we all know where the camera will be pointing tonight,” as I jumped into the limo, already sick with nerves.

In 2008, when Chris Judd and Gary Ablett Jr were favoured to win the medal, to my shock, my lovely husband won.

I’ve sat through one Brownlow pregnant, three Brownlows wanting the floor to swallow me up (Adam coming straight from Mad Monday, no more explanation needed), eight on the Doggies table and this, my second on the Essendon table.

Who you have on your table always makes or breaks the night.

We’ve been lucky enough to have great tables filled with friends (our best friends Brian and Shannon Lake the year Adam won).

I must admit, though, the first year I wasn’t on the Doggies table my heart broke seeing some of my favourite girls all together without me. It took a lot to not drag my place card and chair and just pull it up right next to them all.

Going to the toilets during the ad breaks is always fun. You get to see some absolute glamour girls that you may have stalked on Instagram (or is that just me?) and if you’ve had enough champagne, you have enough courage to tell them that (or is that just me, too?).

Girls are always so friendly in the toilets and you are guaranteed to come out with a few selfies and new besties.

I must admit I do love football, so to this day I get starstruck seeing the likes of Nat Fyfe and Gary Ablett Jr walking right past me.

The year Gaz won, I hunted him down at the after-party for a photo. I don’t even remember congratulating him on the win I was so nervous, I just wanted that picture.

In 2008, when Adam won, Brendan Fevola and Matthew Lloyd came over to congratulate him and they shook my hand. I almost fainted.

I couldn’t believe they knew my name. I couldn’t wait to tell Dad.

I can’t imagine what the count would be like if you didn’t like footy. Boring, I guess. Pregnant and don’t like footy? Killer.

As a previous winner, Adam gets invited every year so I have 12 months of planning a dress to wear on the night. This is something I have never taken advantage of.

I start thinking about it about two months before, then two weeks before I go into panic mode and call my sister in hysterics.

Over the years I’ve been lucky enough to be given dresses, loaned dresses or I’ve bought some of my own.

This year I’m recycling a dress I wore as a bridesmaid at my best friend’s weddings in January. I’ll be comfortable, it’s my style and I won’t have any pressure to get my face all over the media to promote the designer. I can’t wait.

Haylea and Adam at the Brownlow in 2011.

Adam Cooney and Haylea at the Brownlow in 2009.

Surprisingly, I’ve never made the Best Dressed list (insert sarcasm) because I’m not much of a “fashionista”.

One year I even made the Worst Dressed list.

Looking back, I can see why but at the time I thought I looked amazing.

The dress was not “white leather”, it just looked shiny in photographs. I woke up the day after, saw myself in the Worst Dressed list and was totally embarrassed and humiliated. I even shed a few tears.

No girl ever wears a dress thinking she will make the Worst Dressed list. She will walk down that carpet thinking she looks smoking hot and it’s only you who will make her feel otherwise. Remember this before you are too critical.

So bring on Monday night, a night I love attending with my husband and friends. I feel very privileged every time we attend the Brownlow. This year I hope all the girls feel beautiful and confident. If you are feeling nervous, come find me and we’ll have a champagne together to calm your nerves.

Haylea Cooney is the wife of former Western Bulldogs and Essendon player Adam Cooney.