Nikki Osborne: Why you need to stop putting a virtue ring around your profile picture

The moralising of politics online has become laughable and, dare I say it, a little unclassy, writes Nikki Osborne.

There’s nothing quite like an election or referendum to stir up recreational outrage.

What is that? It’s when an individual chooses to be stirred up by a cause that doesn’t really affect them, but they then choose to post about it from their L-shaped couch on their recent model iPhone.

Michelle Wolf said it so perfectly in her recent stand-up: “You have no idea how much the atrocities of the world upset me.”

It’s so true. We’re so spoiled. We’re so privileged. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone but we almost need an apocalypse to sort us out. You know, proper problems. Not borrowing other people’s problems to use as moral leverage online.

Nikki Osborne discusses whether it is best if we all have robust political discussions at the dinner table.

I often laugh at the hypocrisy of people. Women, sitting in their $15 activewear while posting online about ending sweat shops.

Men wearing “make poverty history” bracelets while driving their Porsches. Tesla drivers looking down on petrol drivers as they pull into their six-bedroom, airconditioned bunker houses, and celebrities telling you you’re killing the planet as they board their private jet. I mean, geez, I’m glad I rinsed out that pasta sauce bottle for recycling so Leo can jet to his super yacht.

The moralising of politics online has become laughable and, dare I say it, a little unclassy. People posting about who you should vote for or you’re a “bad person” displays a rather unsophisticated and, one could say, rather narrow-minded view of the world. I’m here for your dog memes not for a moral brow beating. We all have different needs and therefore different preferences. It’s not a case of good vs evil. It’s a democracy.

But this is what people do now, they do a virtue parade around the socials like they’re the next Dalai Lama while attacking anyone who dares enter the opinion ring. That’s not making the world a better place.

One of my favourite examples of this was when I posted a Covid meme that ruffled a few feathers and some girl, who didn’t know or follow me, who hadn’t seen the meme but “heard” about it, took it upon herself to right my wrong by saying, “I know 100 guys who would cut you into pieces for a joke like that.”

My first thought was: this girl knows 100 murderers and yet I’m the bad guy here.

My hairdresser once said, “If you’ve got time to squabble with strangers on the internet then you’re not working hard enough in planet real.”

He’s right. I don’t post when I’m busy and when I’m busy I’m happy. So could
it be deduced that those who have too much time for online are not happy?

OK, next bugbear: the virtue ring around your profile pic. If anything screams, “I’m not open to an alternative view”, it’s these people. So as a word of warning, if you have these people on your pages, do not engage.

Just let the referendum or election shit storm blow over, then ask them about their new decking. Or better still, ask if you can help them, because from my perspective, being kind is of far greater value than being right. Plus everyone loves a good deck.

So the question I’m asking is: should we revert back to the times where a vigorous political discussion is had at the dinner table, not online?

Originally published as Nikki Osborne: Why you need to stop putting a virtue ring around your profile picture