Melbourne Metro train driver Llewellyn Dixon-Mason on traumatic incidents, mental health struggles

A Melbourne train driver has opened up about the life-changing trauma of facing death as part of the job. Read his story.

Melbourne train drivers are quitting the profession, ending marriages, and struggling with alcoholism after a day at work too often turns into the most confronting experience of their life.

Metro train driver Llewellyn Dixon-Mason said the trauma of witnessing sudden deaths will doing their job was unshakeable, leaving colleagues with ongoing mental health issues, relationship difficulties, and in some cases in search of a new career.

Based in Melbourne’s south east, he has seen 13 people die in his 17 years on the railways, most recently last year.

In the moment, Mr Dixon-Mason was overcome by shock, disbelief and dismay.

The anxiety came later.

“You go into procedure mode, where you’re not thinking emotionally, you’re thinking more workwise,” he said.

A father-of-two, Mr Dixon-Mason said the long-term psychological effects impacted his relationships with his wife and children.

He found himself quicker to anger over minor inconveniences like his daughter running five-minutes late or his wife forgetting something at the supermarket checkout.

“The whole event recycles in your head 100 times over,” he said.

“You wonder whether to talk about it or not; you become withdrawn, but then you don't want to be left alone.

“There’s this heightened state of alertness and anxiety that follows, and all those emotions are manifested with your family and kids long-term.

“I’ve seen marriages breakdown, because you move from being a rational, empathetic person to being a victim and not even thinking straight; you start questioning everything.

“I’m fortunate to have a supportive family who can recognise when I’m overreacting — but not everybody does have that.

“It leads to arguments and just gets worse from there.”

As a ‘victim of crime’, Mr Dixon-Mason received a compensation payout after witnessing the death, but could not bring himself to use it for anything other than a donation to charity.

“No matter how much counselling you have, you can’t run away from your own thoughts,” he said.

“It’s always in the back of your mind to go ‘why?’

Mr Dixon-Mason said support for drivers witnessing such events had greatly improved in recent years, including the introduction of peer-support groups and a handbook specifically designed to guide them through the emergency response and resulting investigations.

But the issue was still taking a heavy toll, even for drivers like him who were well aware of the risks and had even encouraged their own children to enter the profession despite its darker side.

Father-and-son train drivers Llewellyn Dixon-Mason and Adeyn Dixon-Mason. Picture: Supplied

“When you first start (as a driver) part of the training is being told it’s not ‘if’ it’s ‘when’ (you will witness an incident),” he said.

“Because it’s that frequent; it’s only a matter of time.

“I think my background helps me cope.

“My father was a train driver; I’m third-generation; my son is fourth-generation.

“Stories from my father help, and from other drivers, because I think, ‘Well if they can go through it, so can I’.

“But does it cause people to leave? Certainly.

“Some people have recurring incidents — they’re barely back (at work) and they have another one and start questioning their luck.”

Mr Dixon-Mason said until driverless trains became the norm, he believed train drivers would continue to feel the impacts.