The weird and wonderful — what’s the wackiest thing you’ve put between two slices of bread?

SO YOU’RE starving, or need to make school lunches, but it’s been a long time between food shopping trips? Never fear. Here are some sandwich ideas that are wacky, yet strangely popular.

The loftiest of sandwich goals.

WE’VE all been there.

Your stomach is rumbling and you open the pantry doors to find the shelves practically bare.

It’s enough to break even the strongest of spirits. You haven’t got the energy or cash for Uber Eats, let alone head to the supermarket. And crying yourself to sleep on the floor isn’t an option.

Or, you’re making the kids’ school lunches, and there’s nada for their sandwiches. And no time to get to the supermarket.

So what do you do?

So here it is, my tried and tested ideas for sandwiches to stave off starvation or fill lunch boxes until you get more real food.

Because it’s amazing what you can pass off as a “sandwich” just by shoving any old filling between two slices of bread. Enjoy.

THE TWO ESSENTIAL INGREDIENTS:

1. One $1 loaf of white supermarket bread. Preferably fresh and without mould, but beggars can’t be choosers.

2. Whatever’s in your cupboard.

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FILLING OPTION 1: SPAGHETTI

Sorry nonna, but it’s tasty af.

Just like mum or grandma never used to make. In fact, my nonna would probably roll over in her grave if she saw me do this.

But if all you’ve got in the pantry is dry pasta, whack it in a pot with some boiling water, slam it between two slices of bread and voila. This carbalicious combo will keep you or your kids going for hours. Add butter to taste if you’ve got it.

FILLING OPTION 2: BANANA OR SULTANAS

You’re winning at life if your sandwich looks like this. Picture: David Swift

Remember all those diet experts who harass you about eating the right amount of fruit? What better way to do it than by making it a well-rounded meal with two slices of bread? We’ve tried sultanas and banana, and both are delicious. Seasonal fruit would be the cheapest option, but we suggest steering clear of strawberries for the time being, for obvious reasons. But whatever you do, don’t put sultanas and bananas together in the same sandwich. Because that’s just gross.

FILLING OPTION 3: MINCE

Mince meat in a sandwich — we’re actually drooling. Picture: Jupiter Images

My colleague’s mum used to send her to school with mince sandwiches back in the day. She said she could have died from shame but we think her mum was a genius. Beef mince goes with everything, unless you’re vegetarian.

FILLING OPTION 4: TWISTIES

Mum was onto something when she crunched these salty babies between two slices of bread.

My mum LOVED this combo. Who knows whether she was hormonal or just had an unparalleled appreciation for a tasty, cheesy, unwieldy snack. Butter the bread for an even bigger flavour hit.

FILLING OPTION 5: DIM SIMS

Nothing beats a dimmie.

What’s not to like about a dimmie? That mystery meat combo wrapped in a dumpling skin was made to be eaten with two slices of bread. It’s unlikely you’ve got a dimmie just lying around the house, but at 80 cents a pop from your local milk bar, fish and chip shop or Chinese take away, we’re thinking you might be able to scrape together the coin to buy one.

FILLING OPTION 6: CORNFLAKES

You could feed everyone in the family for just a few dollars if you eat Cornflake sandwiches.

Disclaimer — I haven’t tried this. My sister does it and I’m pretty sure mum or dad may have dropped her on her head as a child. But she likes a cornflake sandwich, and she may actually be on to something. It makes a satisfying crunch, and when Cornflakes come in at under $4 a box, you could probably feed yourself on about $5 a week.

FILLING OPTION 7: CONDIMENTS

If you’ve got no sauce in the cupboard try swiping a few from your local footy ground’s canteen.

Now we’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel. If all you’ve got is some mustard and tomato sauce in the fridge, and bread, why not try pairing the three together? If you’re living in the lap of luxury and have some sliced cheese in the fridge, another of our colleagues suggests the winning combo of tomato sauce and cheese.

So there you have it. Move over vegemite and cheese or peanut butter and jelly.

>> GOT YOUR OWN WEIRD SANDWICH SUGGESTIONS? SHARE THEM BELOW

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