Excuses for breaking road rules: Nunawading highway patrol share the good, bad and ugly
From the speeder claiming his video game obsession made him a good driver to the L-plater whose mum “jumped out of the car” — our highway patrol cops share some of the stupidest excuses they’ve heard, from funny to outright ridiculous.
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Did you hear the one about the country girl who didn’t know city rules?
What about the one about the man who took his truck for a spin to Dandenong to charge the batteries.
No, these aren’t bad jokes, but they are the equally bad — and sometimes humorous — excuses highway patrol offices have heard from motorists who have broken the law.
Officers from Nunawading highway patrol have shared some of the dumb, amusing, frustrating and outright ridiculous excuses they’ve heard.
As they gear up to be out in full force for Operation Arid this Labour Day long weekend, Sergeant Paul Egan said police certainly didn’t want to come across excuses like these.
REASONS FOR SPEEDING
“I’m a country girl, I don’t know city rules.”
“I play a lot of car racing videos games so I know I’m a good driver.”
“I’m sorry, I’m French.”
“I don’t pay attention to speed limits.”
“I usually just follow other cars, but today there are no other cars around.”
“I’m really, really frazzled at the moment.”
“I’m selling the car to the passenger and I’m showing him how the car goes.’
“I’ve just spent 28 hours in Box Hill Hospital. I’ve got blood coming out of my a*se — you can check — I’m just trying to get home as quick as I can.”
“I sneezed and my foot pushed on the accelerator.”
“I was pressing the accelerator too hard.”
“I had the cruise control set, but I must’ve accidentally stepped on the accelerator.”
“My car can’t go 75km/h.” — A driver caught going 75km/h in a 60km/h zone.
“I wanted to know what it would feel like.” — A driver caught going 133km/h in the Melba Tunnel in Ringwood, where the limit is 80km/h.
“I was rushing to my friend, he’s in a car crash. In Sydney. I’ve only got $100 for fuel, so I can’t afford to fly.” — A driver caught going 131km/h in an 80km/h zone
“I can see the 100 sign in the distance, so I can now go 100.”
“You’re a f*cking d*ckhead. You just pick on pensioners. Just piss off and have a crash.”
“I maybe go a little over, but isn’t the right lane 110km/h?”
REASONS FOR DRIVING ON A SUSPENDED/DISQUALIFIED LICENCE
“I just took the truck out to recharge the batteries to Dandenong and back. ” — A driver who lived in Keilor
“I went out to get milk cause my mum didn’t. F*cking s*it mum.”
“I bought the car a week ago and I just put in a new sound system.”
REASONS FOR NOT WEARING A SEAT BELT
“Truck drivers haven’t worn seat belts for 45 years.” — A truck driver.
“I’m over 70 years old. I don’t have to wear a seat belt.”
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REASONS FOR OTHER OFFENCES
A Learner driver on the road without a qualified instructor said, “My mum’s schizophrenic and she jumped out of the car.”
A driver who went through a red light said, “The car in front went purposely slow, otherwise I would’ve made it.”
A driver who wasn’t using headlights at night said, “I’m 62 years old. I’m not too keen to turn on lights.”
A P-plater caught driving without the Ps on the car said, “I have them in the car, I was going to put them on when I got home.”