Jakelin Verran’s statement after Vijai Ashok Gurnani sentenced on multiple charges

A Gold Coast woman has revealed how she had resigned herself to losing her life at the hands of her violent and controlling partner in a harrowing victim impact statement. READ WHAT SHE SAID >>>

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JAKELIN Verran stood on her own at the front of courtroom 16 as she told her story about how living with her partner Vijai Ashok Gurnani has left her scared.

He had choked her unconscious and a month later beat her as he drove her around in his car, not letting her out.

Here is what Ms Verran had to say in the Southport District Court, in her own words.

“I STAND before you a strong and confident woman, a loving and devoted mother.

I was all of these things when I first met you, but over time you physically and mentally wore me down to become a shadow of my former self.

Whilst you are being sentenced on three charges here today, you have sentenced me to a lifetime of dealing with trauma and working daily to try and recover and heal.

I take this opportunity with both hands …

How do I even explain the impact when I am restricted to what I say and how I say it … let me try.

Because of your actions as I sit to write this statement, I feel overwhelmed with thoughts, I cry uncontrollably and have flashbacks of terrible things that have occurred and clear visions of the things you said and what you did to me.

I take a breath, knowing now that I can reach out to those that love me for support without repercussions.

Friday 13th March 2020, the day you put your hands around my neck and strangled me, I will never forget how this made me feel. I had a million thoughts go through my head. Do I scream for help? If I do will anybody hear me? Will anybody know, do I fight back – all of which I knew would make the situation worse.

I handed you all the power, I convinced myself what will be, will be, and literally, my life was in your hands.

What you did to me whilst I was unconscious, I will never know.

Wednesday 15th April 2020 was the scariest day I have ever experienced.

As you drove the car further up the mountain, I resigned myself to the fact that this was the last day I was going to have on earth.

As I said silent prayers that my sister would come and get my children and keep them safe from you, I was torn between wanting so desperately for you to stop hurting me in that moment and wanting this to just be the last time you ever hurt me.

Thoughts of how you were going to end my life were racing through my head. Were you going to drag me out of the car and bash me and leave me on the side of the road? All of which are replayed in my thoughts every day.

What I once saw as a place of beauty and peace, is now filled with trauma every time I drive there.

Because of your manipulation I became isolated from my family and close friends. You made me believe that they didn’t really care about me and that I had no support network.

I was fearful for my life.

I did my best to “risk manage” you, as you made me believe that there was no alternative to having you control my life.

I became exhausted because every moment of my day and night was spent feeling on edge.

I attempted to pre-empt your thoughts and actions and try to avoid confrontation and incidents.

Because of you and your actions I have had to rebuild myself from the ground up.

You made me believe that I was nobody and by belittling me daily, you made me feel like I could never be right.

You made me doubt everything I did and said.

Because of you I found myself in the darkest of holes and I could only see one logical way of escaping the hell in which I was living.

I felt completely helpless.

When I made attempts to reach out for support and help, you gaslighted me into believing I was crazy, that I was playing the victim and that nobody would believe me anyway.

Because of you I took nine months off work – unpaid – … to grasp and understand my family do love and support me regardless of what you tried to get me to believe.

Because of you and your actions I had become so disillusioned about what was normal, but still to this day I am trying to comprehend the seriousness of your behaviour and the impact that it has had on our lives.

The impact of your actions is immeasurable, I may never know the full extent.

As I sit and write I still reflect on what maybe I could have done differently in the situation, and that is when I remind myself we are each responsible for our own actions and behaviour.

We must own the way we treat others.

I am not responsible for what you did to me in any way.

Now when I look in the mirror, although there are cracks, I see strength rebuilding, learned lessons and a determination to heal.”

TWISTED WOMAN-BEATER’S FINAL ACT OF TERROR

WHEN Jakelin Verran was telling police she feared her partner was going to kill her as he beat her and refused to let her out of a car, her phone went off.

Repeatedly.

Messages and phone calls until a final picture message.

This picture.

Vijai Ashok Gurnani had sent her a selfie of police arresting him at the front of their home in April last year.

The photo shows the top part of Gurnani’s face with a police officer walking towards him and three more officers in the background.

The Bulletin has seen the messages and the numerous missed calls on that day.

Ms Verran said that was when a police officer took her phone and called the officers with Gurnani, demanding they take his phone.

Outside the Southport District Court on Thursday, Ms Verran spoke about how that was one of Gurnani’s final acts of terror in their long-term relationship.

The former Army soldier had earlier pleaded guilty to multiple charges including choking, deprivation of liberty, assault occasioning bodily harm and obstruct police.

He was sentenced to three years’ prison with parole release on January 10 next year. He has already spent four months in custody.

HEARTBREAKING REALITY OF GOLD COAST’S DOMESTIC VIOLENCE COURTS

During the sentencing proceedings Ms Verran, a mother of five, stood straight and solo next to the witness box as she confronted Gurnani about the hell he had put her through.

Gurnani sat in the dock about 15m away.

The pair had gotten into an argument in their Gold Coast home on March 13 last year.

As Ms Verran grabbed for her keys to leave, Gurnani grabbed her around the neck and squeezed.

It was in breach of a domestic violence order that had been put in place in January that year.

He was to be of good behaviour towards her, not commit domestic violence and only visit or reside Ms Verran’s place with her written consent.

“I had a million thoughts go through my head, ‘do I scream for help?’” she told the court.

“If I do, will anybody hear me, will anybody know, do I fight back – all of which I knew would make the situation worse.

“I handed you all the power.

“I convinced myself what will be, will be and literally, my life was in your hands.”

Gurnani choked her to unconsciousness.

She woke up with him sitting beside her.

A month later, on April 15, 2020, Ms Verran would be subjected to “the scariest day I have ever experienced”.

She got up, greeted Gurnani and, before leaving for work, refused his request to share a bedroom.

Ms Verran was walking after completing an errand when Gurnani saw her, and told her to get in his car.

Instead of giving her a lift to work, Gurnani grabbed her head and shoved it down between the seats and then pushed her head into the passenger window.

He then started hitting her with an open palm.

Gurnani drove for an hour and a half, hitting her as they went.

“As you drove the car further up the mountain, I resigned myself to the fact that this was the last day I was going to have on earth,” Ms Verran told the court.

“As I said silent prayers that my sister would come and get my children and keep them safe from you, I was torn between wanting so desperately for you to stop hurting me in that moment and wanting this just to be the last time you ever hurt me.

“Thoughts of how you were going to end my life were racing through my head, were you going to run the car into a tree, were you going to drag me out of the car and bash me and leave me on the side of the road, all of which are replayed in my thoughts everyday.”

Gurnani finally let her leave, taking her home to freshen up before she went to work.

Ms Verran was left with a split lip and a bruised and swollen face.

At work she told her supervisor and they contacted police.

It was while giving that statement, the phone calls and messages started.

HORROR ATTACK: ‘I DON’T CARE, YOU ARE DEAD’

Judge William Everson noted Ms Verran has flashbacks and still suffers from the incident.

“It is disgusting behaviour which terrorises the family unit and it warrants a strong series of deterrent circumstances,” he said.

“You are a big man and you intimidated a much smaller woman.”

Ms Verran, 38, was a single mum-of-four when she met Gurnani.

Her husband had died of a heart attack in 2009 and she was left caring for a stepchild, two adoptive children and her own child.

Three of those children were under three.

In 2010, she was crowned the ACT Barnardos Mother of the Year.

When the children were school age, she was able to return to work and it was then she met Gurnani.

She told the Bulletin it was then the manipulation began.

Ms Verran was slowly isolated from family and friends, he controlled her finances and convinced her family did not love her.

Ms Verran told the Bulletin she spent nine months off work last year in an attempt to comprehend what had happened to her.

In closing her remarks at court on Thursday, she said: “I am not responsible for what you did to me in any way.

“Now, when I look in the mirror, although there are cracks, I see strength, rebuilding, learned lessons and a determination to heal.”

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