'Transfer directly': Bride and groom slammed for tacky wedding invite detail

However, not everyone could see the problem with it, arguing it was actually a "bargain" for guests.

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February 21, 2024 - 9:23AM

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Another day, another story that makes us think: if you can’t afford to have a wedding, don’t have one. Or at least, don’t have an expensive one if it’s not in your budget.

Recently, a bride and groom-to-be have sparked debate for doing exactly that, and sending out wedding invitations asking guests to pay for their meals at their reception.

They added a caveat to soften the blow, insisting that the ‘direct payment’ would be in lieu of any formal wedding presents.

But people still had a lot of thoughts on the 'tacky' move...

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Image: That’s it, I’m wedding shaming / Facebook

The wedding request that's causing a stir

One of the invitees, who remained anonymous, was left in shock after reading the wedding invitation and realising she had to transfer money in order to attend.

She took to a Facebook group called That’s it, I’m wedding shaming, and wrote: “No, no, no, no, no, and no.”

The invitation says, “In lieu of traditional gifts, we kindly request that you contribute towards the cost of our reception buffet. This will allow us to share a wonderful meal together and create lasting memories with our loved ones.”

It then states that it will be $40 for adults and $20 for children under 12.

It continued, “To facilitate the planning process, we kindly ask that you include your contribution to the meals when you RSVP. This will help us provide accurate numbers to the venue.”

People are then told that they should “transfer funds directly to our bank account at your earliest convenience” before listing their BSB and account number.

“Kindly include your name and ‘wedding buffet contribution’ in the payment reference,” the invitation instructed.

It concluded: “Your presence at our wedding is the most meaningful gift we could ask for, and we are truly grateful for your love and support as we embark on this new chapter of our lives together.”

"That's weird"

In the comments, people were equally as confused by the request.

“This is so tacky. Charging people to come to your wedding and to help pay for it - that’s weird,” one said.

“I’m embarrassed on behalf of anyone who defends this. If you’re short on cash, either don’t have a big wedding or write, ‘no boxed gifts please,’ on the invitation, as is standard. Most people know that it is code for ‘cash or cheque gifts only please’,” said another.

And others did defend the move, with some even claiming it was a better option than having to buy gifts for the newlyweds.

“I mean honestly $40 is less than I would give as a gift and to me this is very clear they don’t want gifts too so it’s a bargain,” one wrote.

Another commenter asked, “Is it bad that I actually don’t have an issue with this? It’s a reasonable amount, less than what most people would spend on a gift, and they were clear that they did not want gifts as well as the contribution.”

Then a different user said, “I have absolutely zero problem with this, and I think it’s kind of weird that people expect a great meal and alcohol for free but will also complain if the food and alcohol isn’t good enough or if it’s not an open bar.”