‘My bestie is mad I wouldn’t attend their boujee birthday dinner’

"I'm not really looking to spend the equivalent of a week of grocery money on a single night out."

Getting together to celebrate my nearest and dearest is something I love doing, but since having a baby (and a mortgage), I’ve become more selective.

With time and money stretched further than it’s ever been, where I once may have been embarrassed to say no to a social event, now I am dropping declines whenever I want to.

I don’t feel like I have to overcommit myself on events and I quickly learned I am allowed to say no.

Maybe I have no issues in affording the occasion, but that shouldn’t mean I should have to spend my money in a way I don’t want to.

It turns out my friends and family have been totally accepting of this and have welcomed my invitation to have dinner at my place to celebrate them in a more intimate (and less expensive) way.

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Never a good sign

However, it seems not all friends are accepting of others’ financial decisions.

A viral TikTok is making the rounds on the platform after an influencer revealed the backlash he received from his bestie after skipping his boujee birthday dinner.

“For his birthday, [my friend] chose a restaurant where the cheapest entrée was $41, so I didn't go, and now he's mad at me,” he shared.

What I thought was a perfect compromise was not so well received.

“The reason I decided not to go was because the plan was dinner and then going out, and the place he chose to go out already had a $35 ticket, and I am a little bit broke as it is, so I'm like, I'll just skip the dinner, and then go out,” he added.

“But when I met them out after dinner, it was clear that the vibe was a little bit off, and a mutual friend [said], 'Yeah, he was talking s**t and kind of mad that you didn't go.”

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"The cheapest entrée was $41" Source: TikTok

A mixed bag of reactions

While I thought the birthday boy was being a little too precious to be mad about their friend needing to compromise on the occasion, the comments section was a kaleidoscope of reactions.

Many were quick to criticise the “tight” friend and didn’t hold back.

“I feel like you have all year to save up for your friend's birthday no excuses,” wrote one.

Another commenter agreed by writing, “If you can't spend $100 a year to celebrate your friend, are you even a friend?”

On the other side of the fence, many supported the poster’s decision to chop and change plans to suit his budget.

“It's his bday so he doesn't need to change plans but also u don't need to go if you're tight on money. He should understand at least.” shared one commenter.

Another added, “Friends who make you feel bad for being tight on money are not your friends period.”

“I'm sorry but if you have working class friends and are expecting them to join expensive dinners and trips, something is wrong with you.” declared another.

RELATED: I’m mad I spent so much on my friend’s sham wedding

Do you really want a friend like this in your life? Source: TikTok

A different perspective

Many of the comments also revealed it’s customary for the host to cover the costs of dinner and cake while the guests bring gifts to celebrate the birthday boy/girl.

“It was confusing when I moved to NZ from Korea, I used to pay for my cake & dinner then friends gave me presents. But in NZ, ppl don’t mind paying,” shared one expat.

“DOESN’T THE ONE WHO’S CELEBRATING PAY FOR EVERYONE HE/SHE INVITES?!?!?! *confused in eastern european…*” questioned another.

In my mind, if you have a friend who is comfortable knowing you’re not comfortable attending their birthday celebration, be it for money, time or whatever else, they don’t seem like the type of friend I want to have.

Originally published as ‘My bestie is mad I wouldn’t attend their boujee birthday dinner’