Samantha X: The real reason men hire me as an escort

WHEN my clients make a booking with me, they usually ask about my “service”. But what ends up happening during most of an appointment is truly surprising, writes Samantha X.

I AM sitting at the lobby of a very nice hotel in Melbourne where I’ve just spent three days working as Samantha.

At my prices, I choose not to be the busiest escort in town, but the appointments I do have tend to be long — two hours or over — which sets men back a minimum of $2000. (Before you shake your heads in disbelief, I KNOW. But I’ve always said to myself if men are dumb enough to keep paying me, I’m smart enough to take it …)

I digress.

So, I’m in this hotel, waiting for my lift to the airport and I am absolutely exhausted.

Not physically — but mentally. Emotionally spent. My head is buzzing with stories of sad marriages, men who feel unheard, neglected, taken for granted and sexually frustrated.

Cue angry feminists: Poor diddums, what about us, what about women and our needs?

Yes, yes, yes — we know all about the needs of women, we never bloody shut up about them. Pick up any magazine, Twitter, Instagram, any form of media and women are shouting very loudly about their needs. Of course I stand behind them, but let’s not forget about our men.

Women’s needs are important, but my work has taught me a huge amount about what men need too. Picture: supplied

You want good marriages? You don’t want your man to look elsewhere?

Let’s talk about our men — your husbands, sons, partners, colleagues, bosses and friends. Listen to me. I know what I am talking about because they tell me what they need and want, and what they’re lacking. And here’s what I know for sure, ladies.

Men need to talk. They need to be heard — just as much as we do. It’s just that they don’t feel they have a safe space. Their wives are too busy, their mates will listen for a few minutes before getting bored, and what man will tell his colleagues he is struggling?

In fact, they need to talk so much they pay me $1200 an hour to talk.

Of course it helps when I’m sitting there in black lingerie, doting on their every need, but sometimes they don’t even look at my body. I’ve always said my job is 80 per cent talking and listening, the rest a quick fumble (sorry guys).

Of course, when they book me, they don’t request talking. They ask about my “service”; whether I could wear that “hot lingerie set” in my photos. They ask me whether I kiss. They make the booking wanting a roll around in bed.

Despite what most men think when they make a booking, they often end up talking for most of an appointment. Picture: supplied

Or at least, that’s what they think.

And then I open the door, and 10 times out of 10 there is a very nervous man, who sometimes can’t look me in the eye for the first 10 minutes. I start a conversation … and then you can’t shut them up (and nor do I want to). More often than not, with one eye on the clock, I need to warn them their time is almost up and would we like to retire to the bedroom …

And I’ve heard it all. If you want to hear their secrets, you will have to read my books, but I certainly know what men need. And more than not, it’s not porn star sex with a stranger in a hotel room.

It’s warmth, compassion, a non-judgemental ear. “Do you think you might want to speak to a counsellor about this?” I gently ask sometimes.

They usually look shocked. “Why on earth would I see a counsellor? They will just judge me, someone might find out …” They don’t want to be seen as weak.

So men see escorts as a safe space, a space to confide, talk and be themselves. I did actually start a Masters in Counselling, but then I realised all I was learning was theory. I’m doing the job anyway, just getting paid a lot more to do it.

I’ve always said I am an overpaid psychologist, albeit a naked one. But you get my drift.

Samantha X is an escort, author, madam and columnist.