Couples who sleep together, stay together

I spend a lot of time with men, writes escort Samantha X. They tell me the first crack in their relationship started when they decided to sleep separately.

Michael “Wippa” Wipfli and wife Lisa. (Pic: Supplied)

I must say, I was pretty surprised that such a young cool couple like Nova breakfast host Wippa and his wife Lisa admit to sleeping in separate rooms.

Or that not sharing the same bedroom is “our idea of heaven” says beautiful radio host Zoe Marshall, married to hot NRL star Benji.

Today show host Sylvia Jeffries admits that she and her husband Peter Stefanovic sleep separately but “only when they are sick”.

Seriously? At such a young age and exciting stage in their marriage too.

Get used to the peace guys, because the next step will be not only sleeping in different rooms, but living in completely separate homes.

Let me tell you something you won’t like, but you need to hear. As an escort, I spend an awful lot of time with men from all walks of life who are married or have been married. This is what I hear time and again: the first crack that started to appear in their relationship was when they decided to sleep in separate bedrooms (and nine times out of 10 it is the woman who wanted those sleeping arrangements).

Zoe and Benji Marshall. (Pic: Christian Gilles)

Whether it was his deafening snoring, his bad back, or the way he hogs all the bed sheets — there are a million and one excuses why different bedrooms seems such a sensible, practical idea.

“Everyone can get a good night’s sleep and be fresh in the morning!”

“We can get on with our day without yawning!”

“We are both so rested in the morning that we are in better moods!”

How lovely!

Except — what happened to the sleepy morning sex before the kids get up? Or the cuddles in the night when the rain is belting down, and you want your partner close? Or your feet cosily entwining as you drift off?

I know a happy couple in their 70s who swear the key to their successful marriage is falling asleep holding hands every night.

And when the hell do you have sex? 7.30pm every Friday night when the kids are watching The Simpsons?

One client, a lawyer in his 50s, told me he hadn’t slept in the same bed with his wife in 15 years. And they hadn’t had sex with each other in seven years. He came to me for intimacy, not porn star sex, as do most clients. He books me for overnights and we hold hands as we sleep.

Many men are more interested in intimacy than sex, says escort Samantha X. (Pic: Supplied)

Another client, let’s call him Jon, takes me overseas twice a year. Not for sex (we barely touch), but because his wife doesn’t travel and he is sick to death of “table for one”, let alone bed for one.

The number one request from men? Not whether I would whip them while wearing latex (thank god) but whether I offer kissing and cuddling as part of my service.

These men don’t want to pay thousands of dollars for an escort. They would much rather be with the women they love — believe me.

It’s just they don’t feel very loved anymore.

We are humans and we need human touch. The only time I sleep alone is... actually I don’t. If my kids aren’t there (my eight-year-old daughter always creeps into my bed), then it’s Rosie the rottweiler who sleeps with me. I always need something to cuddle in bed.

If you are lucky enough to have met the person of your dreams, then for god’s sake, sleep with them. Because in my experience, couples who don’t sleep together, don’t stay together.

Samantha X is a journalist and author turned high-profile escort

samanthax.com.au