A break-up is always going to hurt, but there’s something extra painful about losing your best friend

Best friends are meant to be with you for life, Sadly, that’s not always the case. Etiquette coach Val Edwards reveals how to know when it’s time to let go.

Former besties model Lara Bingle and Hermione Underwood celebrate Hermione's 21st birthday party in Bondi, Sydney. Still close but not as tight as they once were. Picture: Facebook.

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Dear Val,

I have a very close girlfriend who I have known since kindy. In our teens and earlier twenties, we would always spend so much time together and almost knew what the other was thinking. I got engaged six months ago and she is behaving in a very strange way – almost as if she is jealous of my husband-to-be.

She has become very demanding of my time, wants to go out like we used to – and she doesn’t want my fiance to come along.

I’m not really into going to clubs anymore, I want to spend time with my love – and not be on the receiving end of nasty comments and sullenness from someone I thought was a true friend. Do I just drop her?

Best,

UW

Etiquette Coach and Sydney Model School Director, Val Edwards. Picture: John Appleyard

Dear UW,

They say jealousy is a curse, and I believe it can be. Your friend of many years has shown her hand. Instead of being nasty she should be genuinely happy for you, supportive and excited, maybe even hoping she will be invited to be your bridesmaid?

But no, instead she obviously thinks this is the end of your friendship which is sad indeed. She probably thinks she has lost you, and therefore she is feeling rejected. Furthermore, it seems to have escalated into a feeling of resentment on her behalf which is both emotionally immature and selfish.

It’s imperative you sit down with her and have a chat as soon as you can. Ask her why she is acting in this way, actively listen as she will likely admit she is scared about losing your longstanding friendship.

Remember these two? Yes, it’s Kim Kardashian and her then best friend Paris Hilton in Sydney, 2006. The friendship has since cooled somewhat. Picture: Tracey Nearmy

It’s natural for people to feel emotions when hurt but this gone too far and is putting your once strong friendship at risk. Maybe she just needs some reassurance. Let her know that you wish to continue to be in her life. Remind her that to have a friend is to be a friend, as she isn’t being a good friend to you at the moment.

She needs to grow up and control her poor behaviour. It’s worth mentioning she needs to show you some respect, you are still a good friend, but your life is taking another direction, and be honest that you possibly won’t be able to spend as much time with her. Also, let her know that her demanding behaviour is making you feel disappointed and sad.

Hopefully after your talk the negative attitude will change, and she will move forward in a genuine manner with a positive mindset.

If you feel happy with the situation you may want to ask her to be your bridesmaid and if she accepts you could invite her out with you and your fiance to help, make her feel included.

The ball is firmly in her court. If she refuses and continues to be nasty, she is not a true friend.

Val Edwards is the CEO of the Sydney Model Agency and Sydney Etiquette College. Have questions to ask? Email us at [e-mail]