Single in Sydney: Seven’s First Dates sets Sarah up for dinner but you won’t be watching this episode ...

SINGLE in Sydney’s Sarah Swain was invited to take part in Network Seven’s new reality TV show First Dates but no one’s going to get to see the episode. What could possibly have gone wrong?

• Behind the scenes on First Dates
• First Dates star James adds Spice to Sarah’s yacht party
• The REAL five reasons you’re single

JOURNALIST Sarah Swain has been single (but dating) for longer than she cares to remember.

That’s because it’s tough out there, as any single will tell you, so to bring hope to others across the city, she’s sharing her no-holds-barred adventures on the Sydney single scene every Friday.

A Brush With Reality

WOULD you share your first date with more than a million people?

Most wouldn’t. I did. Well, kind of.

You see, if you’ve not heard by now (and I think there’s one person who lives in Kazakhstan who hasn’t) I’m appearing on First Dates.

You know, the reality show that’s hotter than a Mardi Gras drag queen’s armpits?

‘Cause I’ve tried every other way at finding love and I thought I might as well do the ultimate thing and put myself up national humiliation.

Of course I didn’t really expect to find my future husband.

But I thought it would be fun.

Me in front of the famous First Dates red heart. Picture: Channel 7

I also expected I’d probably land my own spin off show too, just like Sam Frost and her $250k radio gig or that other Bachelorette star who’s presenting something in the jungle.

Anyway, if you’ve been underwater for the past couple of months, the show’s a UK-export to Channel 7, and couples are paired up and sent on a first date.

There’s no giant mansion, no helicopters and no roses.

Just a man and a woman (though they do some gay dates too) and dinner at a real restaurant, rigged with cameras and lighting (so much lighting — it’s like the midday sun in there — dire for a first date).

The couple is interviewed before and after the date, before being asked if they fancy each other — and a second date.

And from a bloke called Nicholas Nicholas, to a crazy chick called Lauren, it’s been a big hit so far — with one or two couples even staying together. And others just hooking up, by the sounds of it.

Of course I didn’t know this when I turned up at 9am one Saturday morning last year at the Westin Hotel.

I’d spent a really long time blow drying my hair straight, and even longer layering on six different types of foundation (I wasn’t allowed to get my make-up done, and I had planned to cheat and try and arrange somebody but then discovered I didn’t have enough time).

When I arrived, one of the crew greeted me with a Bellini.

“Here we go!” I thought, “They’re going to try and get me drunk! I shall not fall for it!”.

I was then ushered upstairs to some conference rooms to do my pre-date interviews.

I carried the Bellini with me, limiting myself to a few sips.

I perched on a stool in front of that big red heart logo, with a camera man looming and a chatty Welsh producer in leather trousers sitting to the side.

Now it’s my job to get people to say things.

Turns out I’m easily persuaded to talk too.

I spilt more than a waiter at Ryan’s Bar on a Friday night.

I answered questions like: “Have you ever been in love?,” “What is love?” and “Why do you think you’re single?”

Don’t ask me what I said. I can’t remember. I think I’ve blocked it out,

Anyway.

Interview over, I was sent back downstairs to await my turn to walk over to the restaurant, Verandah, near Martin Place.

Now I’ve done a bit of telly before.

And I know you have to wait around longer than Leonardo did for his Oscar.

But this was ridiculous.

An hour passed.

The crew member and I had shared life stories and she’d ordered some snacks for me.

I’d drunk the Bellini and was on to a wine.

What was going on?

Suddenly, an out-of-breath women trotted into the foyer, and came and sat beside me and the crew girl.

I later discovered it was the Very Important Big Boss, Geraldine Orrock.

“I’m really sorry, but I have some bad news,” she said.

My heart lurched.

“Your date hasn’t turned up.”

Ouch!

She explained that the “wonderful” man they’d found for me had chickened out. Or decided to watch sport instead. I can’t remember which. And while they’d tried to persuade him, he wasn’t budging.

My heart sank. I’d been rejected by a bloke before he’d even met me ... on TV. Well, kind of.

Could I be any more unlucky?

First Dates is on Seven on Wednesdays at 9pm