Ask Val: ‘Help, I don’t like my son’s new girlfriend’

A MOSMAN mum is trying to keep a stiff upper lip after her teenage son introduced a pierced, fashion-challenged and sullen new girlfriend.

There’s trouble in paradise.

• Ask Val: ‘I’m sick of splitting restaurant bills when I hardly eat’
• Ask Val: ‘I want a Mustang for my 60th birthday’

Dear Val,

My 16-year-old son has just started going out with his first serious girlfriend and he’s showing all the signs of being madly in love.

The only trouble is, I can’t stand this girl! My son is a very sensible, polite and thoughtful young man and I’ve always been very proud of him. Two weeks ago, he brought the girlfriend to the house for a family dinner and she showed up with dyed-purple hair, ripped jeans, what appeared to be a bull ring in her nose and I’m sure I smelled tobacco on her breath.

I tried to make conversation with her but only received sullen grunts in return. For the life of me I can’t understand the attraction and I find myself desperately hoping they will break up. What should I do?

Worried Mum, Mosman

Advice columnist Val Edwards.

Dear Worried Mum,

When I read this question my immediate thoughts were, this girl with the purple-dyed hair, ripped jeans (which are still fashionable and worn by teenagers around the world) and bull nose ring, is possibly a student at Mosman High. This school is particularly known for its creativity and no school uniforms.

Jimmy Barnes had dyed hair and rings, he is remembered for his talent. A lovely Mosman High student enrolled in a model and etiquette course at my College recently, she was a musician, a member of a band, she just needed to believe in herself and become more confident. She had a few blue streaks in her hair and multiple earrings, and like Jimmy she is talented.

At 16, children are almost adults, they can get their learner permits, and often have different groups of friends, and sometimes try to shock their parents too, as they are trying to make a statement.

Val says our reader should trust her son’s instincts when it comes to his choice of girlfriend.

Your son has taken the initiative and invited his first serious girlfriend home for dinner, a good move, from a very sensible, polite and thoughtful young man. It is evident that she is trying to stand out, although smelling of tobacco is not the way to do it.

‘Sullen grunts’ may indicate that she was feeling awkward, even shy or overwhelmed, so it is best not to be too judgmental, as it is usually a phase they go through and she is obviously trying to work out her identity. If the boy cares for her and mum loves her son, she should trust his instincts.

Val Edwards is the owner of the sydneymodelagency.com and sydneyetiquettecollege.com.au. Do you have a dilemma Val can solve? Email your question to [e-mail]