‘No hate in her bones’: Kay Shaylor’s family devastated

THE family of aged care nurse Kay Maria Shaylor, who was killed when her car was struck by a driver who allegedly admitted she had smoked five bongs, are struggling to contain their anger.

Kay Maria Shaylor was killed when the car she was travelling was hit by suspended learner driver Bianca Harrington who had allegedly smoked five bongs. Picture: supplied.

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AS an aged care nurse, Kay Maria Shaylor devoted her life to helping others and always accepted what life threw at her with a positive, “it happened, let’s move on” attitude.

It is exactly the 62-year-old’s selfless nature of putting other people’s needs before her own which is making it so hard on her family and friends as their shock and grief of her needless death turns to anger.

Ms Shaylor, of Umina Beach, was driving to work at Chamberlain Gardens nursing home early Saturday morning when an unlicensed L-plater in a Holden Commodore allegedly clipped another car and collided head-on into her Mitsubishi Mirage just after 6am.

Ms Shaylor’s Mitsubishi Mirage was damaged beyond recognition. Picture: Digicrew Australia

Gosford Local Court heard on Monday that 20-year-old driver Bianca Harrington told police she had smoked five bongs before driving from Sydney to the Central Coast and “could not remember where she had been all night”.

“As much as I can be honest, the frustrating thing is Kay would have asked ‘is everyone OK?’,” close friend Debra Starkey said on behalf of Ms Shaylor’s family.

“There was really no hate in her bones. We’re trying to hold her (memory) like that and not (succumb) to the anger we’re dealing with.”

Bianca Harrington.

Pictures: Facebook.

Ms Starkey’s mother Maureen Franklin was Ms Shaylor’s best friend and lived in the house in front of Ms Shaylor’s granny flat until Maureen’s death last year.

“She’s had a bit of a rough time in the past 12 months,” Ms Starkey said.

Ms Shaylor’s grief was compounded by another accident at West Gosford, which led her to buy her beloved red Mirage “as her first new car”.

Neighbours described her as a quiet, “lovely person” who was meticulous about washing her car and mowing her grass every fortnight.

“She kept to herself but she was such a lovely person,” neighbour and young mum Kelly Martin said.

“My partner would be out the back with his fire and playing music and I’d be apologising but she would always say ‘let him do it, I like his music’.”

Emergency services at the scene of the fatal crash on Manns St near the intersection of Dwyer St, North Gosford. Picture: Digicrew Australia

Ms Starkey, who grew up feeling like Ms Shaylor was “a second mum” to her, said “she was a ray of sunshine everywhere she went”.

“Kay was straight forward to the point there was no stuffing around, it was black and white, if you done wrong, you done wrong and she would say ‘learn from it and move on’.”

The youngest of five siblings, she is survived by brothers Hilton, Dennis and Kenneth and older sister Patricia, as well as many nieces and nephews who “she adored”.

The Holden Commodore Ms Harrington borrowed when she was allegedly driving while suspended. Picture: Digicrew Australia

Having grown up in Liverpool, in Sydney’s south west, Ms Shaylor lived on the Coast “on and off since she was 17” and owned a new age shop with her sister until several foreign aid trips to Cambodia and a four-month stint in Peru — where she volunteered at an orphanage for disabled children — saw her become an aged care nurse.

“She never married,” Ms Starkey said. “That’s why she gave herself; she always said, ‘I was not meant to have children, I was here to help’.”

But it was not from a lack of proposals.

Kay Shaylor's red Mitsubishi Mirage was a regular feature parked in her carport outside her humble granny flat off Sydney Ave, Umina Beach. Neighbours grew worried when they had not seen the car since Saturday.

“Every man in (Chamberlain Gardens) who was not married asked her to marry them,” Ms Starkey said. “Cheeky, oh my, cheeky was not the word, she would interact with them in their own personality.

“She always said everything happens for a reason, when it’s your time, it’s your time and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Ms Shaylor will be remembered at a private cremation followed by a celebration of her life at Ettalong Diggers Memorial Club next Wednesday from 11.30am.

Ms Starkey said in lieu of flowers Ms Shaylor’s family has asked for donations so a “reflection bench” could be erected at her nursing home “so her beloved residents can sit in the sun and enjoy nature”.

The unlicensed driver — who was charged with dangerous and negligent driving occasioning death and one count of driving while suspended — was refused bail to reappear at court via video link on October 28.

A court heard she told police she smoked five bongs before driving from Sydney to the Central Coast. Picture: Facebook.