Banking industry’s professional clowns make for good comedic material says Vince Sorrenti

I feel sorry for the banks and wealth managers. They are having a tough time. My uncle has been a loyal fee paying AMP customer for 16 years. He’s been dead for 10 years, but he is still getting great advice! Comedian Vince Sorrenti shares his thoughts on the professional clowns in our banking industry.

I feel sorry for the banks and wealth managers. They are having a tough time. My uncle has been a loyal fee paying AMP customer for 16 years. He’s been dead for 10 years, but he is still getting great advice!

There have always been jokes about the banks but, seriously, they are now making it far too easy.

On the back of the findings of the Royal Commission they have shown once again that the circus does not have a monopoly on professional clowns.

We don’t need much of an excuse to dislike these people.

Most of us would have to live and work for a century to earn the annual wage of a big four CEO. Not to mention bonuses which appear to be triggered by the recipient still drawing breath.

Comedian and entertainer Vince Sorrenti reckons we don’t need much of an excuse to like banking professionals.

We see them cruising the Mediterranean on junkets, sitting in lush corporate boxes, and generally nestling their snouts in the good life trough.

Above all, a lot of us owe these buggers a lot of money.

The politicians, of course, are lining up to pillory the banks.

Labor accepted the recommendations before there were any.

The Libs are lamenting they should have called the Royal Commission earlier.

And the Greens? They would be the least considerate of all. They have always regarded the solar energy that emanates from the rear of bank executives as a worthy renewable source.

Bank jokes are so ubiquitous they should have their own emoji: Banks are great at providing umbrellas when the sun is shining and taking them away when it starts raining. Bank robbers used to wear masks, now the bank teller wears one. You get the idea.

Even when acting charitably the banks can get a laugh. Remember the 2011 Queensland floods?

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A snapshot of the big banks’ profits and CEO earnings.

The banks agreed to waive ATM fees ($2) in flood affected areas. Wow. We can only imagine what that would have cost them. The 2017 cash deposit debacle was another high point. More than 53000 unreported transactions that could have gone anywhere.

A minor oversight. Smart ATMs were to blame, they said. Smarter than the bank that’s for certain. Absurd if not frightening.

There have been financial collapses, insurance scandals, harsh treatment of farmers and more, but the Kenneth Hayne Pain is ushering in a new era of bank ridicule.

Dodgy loan applications — borrowers won’t spend their income on food and power will they? Asleep at the wheel regulators — one bank took 1726 days to report to ASIC they had broken the law.

Charging dead people for financial advice is just one of the breaches of banking regulation law.

If we could get away with that in common law I could rob a servo tonight and report it in November 2022.

The finding that has captured the bulk of attention among the mocking masses is unquestionably the fees for no service and the charging of deceased clients.

That just says it all. Even as a cadaver or a pile of ashes we are not safe. The Grim Reaper can only stalk you ’til death, then the banks can take over.

Michael Jackson is clearly getting tremendous advice. His estate is worth more than ever. (We are just warming up, people.)

Seriously, I hope my uncle got some good advice about his AMP shares.