Still a sucker for a good ad

AS I have often mentioned, I haven't watched free-to-air television for years.

Maggie Cooper

AS I have often mentioned, I haven't watched free-to-air television for years; the advertisements and constant distracting program promotions rolling across the bottom of the screen drove me mad to the point where I now even watch the ABC and SBS by streaming on my computer. In other words, I am an advertiser's nightmare.

Having said that, when I am forced to sit in front of someone else's television, I am gobsmacked by the amazing products on offer.

At my local medical centre, for example, they have not one, but two big-screen televisions, each tuned to a different commercial channel. And medical centres being what they are these days, often I have had to wait a considerable time to see my doctor

Last time I was a captive audience while waiting to see her I discovered all manner of weird and wonderful devices being spruiked in the gaps between the dubious content that passes for daytime television nowadays.

There was a contraption that looked like a power drill that inflated car tyres as if by magic; carving knives that cut through shoes And frypans you could incinerate cheese in and it just slid straight into the bin - a rather sad waste of perfectly good grated Cheddar if you ask me.

Purchases of this type used to be largely reserved for insomniacs; from midnight to 6am television channels used to air non-stop advertorial programs selling cosmetics promoted by has-been soap stars and machines designed to trim your waistline along with your wallet.

Luckily for me my phone also gives me access to the internet and these days there are online product reviews that will give you a heads-up before you plonk down the dollars.

Thus I discovered it's probably quicker to inflate your tyre by blowing into the valve.

But if I really do want to cut the fronts off my shoes, apparently those knives are definitely the ticket.