JOBS! JOBS! JOBS! Coffs/Clarence is spoiled for choice

From smashing fragile items to wielding machetes, there’s something for every jobseeker

Jonathan Thurston loves his new cane knife. Pics Adam Head

WITH the country slowly emerging from its first recession in decades, there are a growing number of jobs out there for those looking for work, a lifestyle change or a challenge.

Once again we run the rule over some of the more interesting ads currently on seek.com.au.

 

Wield a machete without arousing suspicion - North Coast

While the industry has become a little more technologically advanced in recent years, cutting cane could still offer willing locals the chance to wield a bloody big knife.

All you need is a driver's license and you can have an opportunity to work outside as a sugar cane farmer in one of the sweetest jobs around.

Baggage handling is fun!

 

Smash fragile items - Coffs Harbour

While never having done it myself, I imagine the life of the baggage handler to be mighty fun. Throw bags as high as possible and guess the item you heard smash inside as it hits carousel.

As the borders open and people enjoy some domestic travel again Swissport are on the lookout for some talented individuals to join their team so they can be ready for the busy skies ahead.

 

Get hot and spicy with the public - Bellingen

Bello's hottest new (and only?) Mexican joint, Tish Faco is looking for someone capable of waiting tables and serving drinks.

If you like the sound of being surrounded by the smell of beef nachos and hearing Aussies try and pronounce things in Spanish, get in quick.

Prawns are a great animal to work with.

 

Do your bit for the Aussie Christmas lunch - Yamba

Eating prawns at Christmas is a pretty uniquely Aussie thing to do, so why not help this great tradition continue by becoming a prawn processing attendant.

Tassal on the lookout for people to work "in conjunction with our outstanding prawn team". And if you do get a job as a result of this story, please suggest to management they stop encasing those prawns in that annoying shell thing.

 

Start a revolution - Grafton

For those secretive communists out there, the United Services Union are looking for an organiser to be based at its Grafton office.

Principally working with those in the local government and clerical administrative sector the union is looking for someone who can "co-ordinate and manage campaigns and other major activities" which is probably code for overthrow the ruling class and begin the new world order.

 

Authors note: This story is meant as a light-hearted take on the jobs market, I deeply apologise to any baggage handlers, cane knife enthusiasts, prawns and communists who may have taken offence.

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