Mum was charged $100 for dinner at a friend's house for 'tackiest' reason

"They're definitely profiting from this!" Is slapping a price tag on a dinner invitation the ultimate no-no?

So, you’ve been invited to a dinner party at your friend’s house and you’re looking forward to a cosy night in with good friends, food and wine.

Then, ahead of time, the host messages the group to let you know that you’ll need to transfer a cool $100 to secure your seat at the dinner table. 

No, they’re not hiring a private chef or ordering in catering — it’s just them, cooking in their kitchen for a casual sit-down dinner. 

Why then, are they charging their friends? 

Well, they’ve decided to cook a ribeye steak that apparently cost them “hundreds of dollars.”

This is the scenario a Melbourne mum recently found herself in when she was invited to her friend’s house for dinner on the weekend. 

Chatting to Kidspot exclusively, the woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, explained, “It started pretty normally. My friend invited our group of four around to their place for dinner. 

“They fancy themself a bit of a home chef, and have had us around a couple of times in the past,” she continued. “They always put on a pretty nice spread with nice seafood or meat and there's always lots of nibbles and sides, etc.”

“But this time, for some reason, they asked if we could ‘chip in’ for the meal, and by that, she meant around $100 each. She said it was because the steak she had bought ended up costing a little more than she expected.”

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The $100 dinner party

“At first, I thought, okay, maybe like 30 or 40 bucks each would be reasonable, but $100?! We could go out for a nice dinner for that amount. Also, I found it a bit odd as she and her partner are both in very high-paying jobs. Of course, you never know the situation people are in, but still, they seem to live a pretty lavish lifestyle.”

The mum, along with her other friends, didn't want to make a fuss and so agreed to pay.

She said it was a nice night and the food was delicious, but there was an awkward vibe in the air because a “transaction had been made, so it sort of sets up this expectation, as if you were at a restaurant.”

So, is slapping a price tag on a dinner invitation the ultimate no-no in the friendship playbook? Or is it a reasonable expectation, especially given the cost of living pressures right now?

To unpack this situation a bit more, the Kidspot team weighed in with their thoughts.

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"If you can't afford it, don't offer"

Leah believed it was “ridiculous” to charge your friends for food after you invited them into your home. 

“If you want to serve up a premium dish, that's your choice when hosting. You shouldn't have to expect to pay when going to be a guest at a dinner party,” she said. 

And Nama tended to agree, adding, “This is total bullsh*t. With family or close friends, it might be okay if you’ve all been craving one thing and agree to go in together. Even then, if it’s people you see regularly, it all evens out over time - so I wouldn’t charge. And if your guests aren’t in those categories, charging them is embarrassing yourself!”

And Elly thought, “I couldn’t think of anything more tasteless than asking friends to pay for their dinner. No one forced you to host and no one forced you to go all out and buy the most expensive cut of meat you could. 

“If you’re going to put your hand up for hosting, then it’s just assumed that you’re going to take on the associated costs of hosting - you’re not just providing a roof over people’s heads for three-four hours. This is basic hospitality. If you can’t afford it, don’t offer.”

Communication is key

On the other hand, other team members didn’t think it was that bad. 

Jordanna reasoned: “I would actually be okay with it. It's cheaper than going out for dinner at a restaurant, and I don't have to cook or clean up. It's a win. Nights with friends are worth it.”

Then Joel thought that the most important thing was communication, and if the host did that, then all was forgiven. “At least they didn’t spring the price on you afterwards, because that would have been a whole different story,” he said. 

And Clara agreed, adding: “I think it's alright if she was given the information beforehand - the part that can hurt the most is not the money but whether or not you have the integrity and honesty in your relationship to speak about these things and ask upfront. 

“Every adult will have different finances but you should have the decency to speak plainly if they are friends and family.”

Originally published as Mum was charged $100 for dinner at a friend's house for 'tackiest' reason