’Choosing not to suffer’: Why young people are rejecting the grind
More and more young Australians are embracing a new way of living, but reject claims it’s “lazy” or “selfish”.
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Young people are increasingly signing on to the ‘soft life’ movement, rejecting The Grind for the path without obstacles and stress.
“A ‘soft life’ is to live a life that prioritises one’s peace and mental health,” TikTok content creator, Denee Tamia, told news.com.au.
“It involves making choices that relieve stress and make day-to-day living more enjoyable. It requires one to romanticise every minuscule moment of their life.”
As always, we can turn to Urban Dictionary for the exact cultural meaning of a soft life: “Opposite of hard life. Where you make decisions that leave you feeling stress free and vibrating higher”.
Although even Urban Dictionary admits that having wealth does help maintain this wellness trend, it’s less about that and more about “making good choices”.
Likened to the cottagecore movement of 2018 — an aesthetic that gets subscribers back to enjoying the basics of life, like making jam and growing flowers — the soft life encourages choices that make your life more relaxing.
It’s a wellness movement that is being spearheaded by black, female content creators in the USA — a change from a predominantly ‘white’ wellness space — and spreading to Australian shores. While it’s certainly not for women only, there is a lot of focus on what people are calling ‘feminine energy’.
“The purpose of acquiring this mindset is to allow one to bask in feminine energy creating creativity, flow and stillness,” shares Tamia.
As a woman in business herself, Tamia feels that choosing a soft life is not only possible, but actually better for your productivity.
“In the business space, there is tons of ‘hustle harder’ rhetoric: wake up at 5am, take a cold shower, and never stop working. Although I’ve opted into and shared some of this ‘hustle culture’ information, I always preface it with the importance of balance.”
“The best decisions you’ll make will come when you are in a peaceful headspace that allows you to get into flow.”
Where did it come from?
Earlier this year, a Substack email subscription called 8Ball (made famous by The Cut) had the Western world spinning after it announced a post-lockdown vibe shift.
While many panicked about the speculated change, it really just seemed to come off the back of a global pandemic that forced us to appreciate the here and now. To crave the ordinary and enjoy realness, over curated ideals.
Then we had the Great Resignation — because life is — and now, arguably, it’s all culminating in this ‘soft life’ era we find ourselves in. Although, many argue that this shift started happening before 2020.
“I wanted to share my perspective of this movement on social media because it was something I’ve always been a part of, but didn’t have the correct verbiage to explain it,” says Tamia.
Fellow content creator Fiona Fairbairn agrees that the trend simply put a name to a lifestyle she was already striving for.
“I realised that I was actually just talking about living a soft life. I have always been a part of it and I wanted to promote my ways of living softly,” she told news.com.au.
It’s the opposite of being lazy.
As a society we’ve been so used to this ‘hustle culture’ that anything else will always pull criticisms of being lazy, but that would be entirely missing the point.
“I think the ‘soft life’ is the complete opposite of being lazy,” stresses Tamia.
“From my perspective, it often allows you to prioritise your time and efforts more efficiently. It’s not about never doing anything; it’s about creating a life where you put your utmost effort into what’s important to you.”
Fairbairn agrees, saying that choosing to make life easier does not equate to not putting in the hard yards — it’s just making them count.
“It’s not being lazy, it’s about doing things that make your life easier and choosing not to suffer if you don’t have to,” she said.
“I’ve realised a lot of people have hyperindepence and people pleasing tendencies that block them from being to live this way, so they avoid it by calling the soft life ‘lazy’ or ‘selfish’.”
“It is selfish but in the best way possible.”
What do the experts say?
Lysn psychologist, Veronica West, says it’s an understandable movement, especially after the anxiety-inducing uncertainty of the past couple of years.
“In my profession, I have particularly seen an increase in mental health concerns (like anxiety and depression) in individuals who have not had any previous experience of mental health concerns,” she explained.
“I do think that we can absolutely use concepts from the ‘slow life movement’ to get a better balance in our day-to-day life.”
“Not only has the pandemic opened our eyes to opportunities like working from home, it has no doubt also made us realise that life is short and there are things around us we simply cannot control or predict.”
While she does think the slow life movement can be beneficial to those who need it, she does also stress that some people “thrive in a busy environment”, and that’s OK too.
Either way, she believes what you can gain from the movement is to work out and align yourself with your “personal needs and values, rather than living a certain life out of the feeling that this is what society expects”.
How do you live a soft life?
In a nutshell, it’s really about taking the easier path through life, and putting your happiness first.
“Living a soft life is purposely making decisions everyday to make your life easier,” said Fairbairn.
“Prioritising yourself, self care, self love, being able to relax as much as possible. Putting yourself first. Investing in things that make life enjoyable and less stressful.”
If slowing it down is calling to you right now, West suggests there are several ways to do so without needing lots of money in the bank.
“The ‘slow movement’ isn’t about throwing all your responsibilities away and disregarding your financial and safety needs,” she says.
“The takeaway here is not to overhaul your whole life, it’s to check in with yourself and make changes to slow down and shift gear in the areas that make sense to you.
“Check in with yourself around your values. What really matters to you, deep in your heart? What do you want to do with your time on this planet? What are you currently doing in your life that makes you feel stuck or drains your energy or resources? If money was not an issue, what would you spend your day doing?”
When you have those answers, make a plan to incorporate these slow activities into your life.
Originally published as ’Choosing not to suffer’: Why young people are rejecting the grind
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