Friday Noticeboard
Today’s noticeboard is brought to you by a daring public experiment. In Sydney this week, intrepid social engineers attempted to discover what happens when you combine feminism, comedy and an audience of sad wokens.
Tim Blair
Surely No Such Damning Evidence Exists
To those who describe incoming governor-general Sam Mostyn as a lifelong activist hack whose unimpressive record can’t help but cheapen her office, I say: show me the proof.
Wednesday Noticeboard
Today’s noticeboard is brought to you by J.K. Rowling’s finest literary achievement.
Chris “Two Jets” Bowen and his Flights of Fancy
British Labour had John “Two Jags” Prescott. Australian Labor can beat him by an order of magnitude. They’ve got Chris “Two Jets” Bowen.
Easter Monday Masky Marxist Noticeboard
Today’s holy noticeboard is brought to you by a multitude of Covid-masked Marxists at a Melbourne Marxism Marxathon.
Fitzy Visits the Dark Emu Disco
Peter FitzSimons and his fellow Voice advocates argued throughout 2023 that Aboriginal primacy demanded constitutional change and an additional parliamentary wing.
Thursday Noticeboard
Today’s noticeboard is brought to you by The Almighty’s divine climate justice – for He bore witness to a solar farm that displeased Him, and righteously struck down upon it with great vengeance and furious anger.
Choo-Choo Joe Takes a Ride on the Mystery Train
Present Joe Biden with any scenario. Within moments, his peculiar dishonesty will demand he become part of it.
News Roundup
Let’s have ourselves an old-fashioned roundup of the newsworthy, newsy and newsable.
Tim Blair's columns
The hidden meaning behind Albo’s words
The Prime Minister had a lot to say in his 2024 State of the Nation speech on Thursday, but Tim Blair has uncovered the hidden meaning behind the words.
Sydney will always win when Sydney fights back
The Westfield Bondi Junction massacre wasn’t the first time Sydneysiders spontaneously mobilised to fight evil, writes Tim Blair.
2024 predictions: winners and losers in the year ahead
As the New Year dawns, Tim Blair gazes deep into his crystal ball and comes up with a list of top quality, 100 per cent guaranteed predictions for the coming 12 months.
Lisa shy about her tabloid exploits
Former The Project host Lisa Wilkinson’s distaste at being drawn as a ‘cheap tabloid journalist’ is laughable, writes Tim Blair. On a reported $1.7m, she may not have come cheap, but she has a rich tabloid heritage.
Monday Noticeboard
Today’s noticeboard is brought to you by newly-appointed ABC chairman Kim Williams’s warning to the ABC’s activist staff. Which would be all of them.
Life’s Lottery Won and Lost
To be fair, post-war British immigrants to Australia perhaps didn’t deserve their full whinging reputation. Many of them were probably just homesick.
Thursday Noticeboard
Today’s noticeboard is brought to you by Kevin Rudd, whose big mouth may yet threaten his tenure as Australia’s ambassador to the US.
Anne Meets the Friends
Australia’s Friends of Palestine are apparently no friends of Labor minister Anne Aly.
Monday Noticeboard
Today’s noticeboard is again brought to you by performer and parent Holly Valance, who is single-handedly redeeming the entire Australian theatrical profession.
Jonathan’s Year of Living Greenishly
As did many of us, ABC ratings nanoparticle Jonathan Green began 2024 full of hope.
Wednesday Noticeboard
Today’s noticeboard is brought to you by a brief and enchanting documentary from Britain’s Dr John Constable, which beautifully explains why we are all completely doomed.
Australia’s Future Foretold: We’re Argentina 2.0
Time travel is here.
Monday Noticeboard
Today’s noticeboard is brought to you by a shirt of shame. Shame on the kid who wore it. Shame on his smiling companion (not shown in this image). And shame on a society that is seriously embracing ghoulish Nazism.
The FitzSimons Assumption
Leftists stick together. You’ve got to be a remarkably hopeless media Marxy-pants before the Guardian’s Amanda Meade takes a swing at you.
Friday Noticeboard
Today’s noticeboard is brought to you by Joe Biden’s State of the Noggin address, to be delivered early this afternoon Australian time. Or shortly after and before two of Biden’s medically-enforced daily nap times.
Hands Up if you Believe in Global Warming
Because there aren’t any, you can’t even count the number of proven global warming victims on the fingers of one hand. Which is a terribly insensitive way to introduce a story about victims of local colding.
Weekend Noticeboard
Imagine being the sort of person who gets upset because something that doesn’t matter isn’t happening. Such as, for example, a decline in Australia’s carbon dioxide output.
Reminders! Terrible Reminders Everywhere!
A Sydney council Greens lady is done with repairing a statue of Captain Cook and instead wants the historic structure removed.
Thursday Noticeboard
Today’s noticeboard is brought to you by Andrew Bolt, reporting directly from Israel.
Dainty Doily Door Handle De-Heaters
We’ve had a few warm days out here recently, during which various exterior door handles at the Blair compound were subject to many hours of direct sunlight.
Sunday Noticeboard
Today’s noticeboard is brought to you by the woke nightmare that is Google.
Canberra Cold on Mouthy Murpharoo
Former Guardian-funded Albanese spokesgal Katharine Murphy recently became an official tax-funded Albanese spokesgal. So how’s our darling Labor lady doing?
Wednesday Noticeboard
Today’s noticeboard is brought to you by the departure of Woolworths boss Brad Banducci just one month after the supermarket giant’s stupid shunning of Australia Day.
Double-A B-Listers C-minus
Former ABC stand-in turned ABC litigant Antoinette Lattouf needs something to do in between posting predictable Pally agitprop, so she’s teamed up for a podcast with another Antoinette.
Sunday Noticeboard
Today’s noticeboard is brought to you by the 20th anniversary of a spectacular Guardian blunder – and a lame 20th anniversary Guardian repetition.
Protect Us Please from Tonnes of Truckasaurus Terror
Like most people, I love being given strict behavioural directives by some fun-remedy suity greenist from an up-itself regional leftoid crank tank.
Thursday Noticeboard
Today’s noticeboard is brought to you by Australian actress Holly Valance’s beauty and beautiful thinking.
Cranky Clementine’s Taylor Tribute
Taylor Swift is a bubblegum pop goddess. Clementine Ford is a garbage-gobbed woken wasteland who’s lately published accusatory lists of Jews. What happens if the two are combined, as if in a ghastly science experiment?
Sunday Noticeboard
Today’s noticeboard is brought to you by Joe Biden’s mind, lately probed in potentially election-influencing ways by the US Department of Justice.
Original URL: https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/blogs/tim-blair