Monuments to grief: The sad tales behind roadside memorials
They are everywhere on our roadsides: Crosses, flowers and mementos to loved ones. We look at the tragic and beautiful tales behind them.
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We have become used to seeing them at the side of roads. The simple wooden crosses, with flowers and handwritten notes to those who died in car accidents, and in one renowned case a murder victim.
There is even a Facebook page dedicated to Brisbane's roadside memorials.
The Department of Main Roads allows roadside memorials, as long as they are in safe locations, are small and there are no plastic flowers. No permit is needed.
Councils have their own rules for roads they control. Redland City Council, for instance, asks friends and family to contact them with details in case memorials have to be removed for roadworks or other reasons.
Moreton Bay Regional Council has similar rules to the Department and removes memorials after two years.
Griffith University grief expert Dr Margret Gibson has called for special rituals for mourners and affected property owners when a memorial is removed.
We take a look at the tragic - and sometimes inspiring - stories behind our memorials.
Sadly, many have involved a second round of grieving when tributes have been vandalised or removed for roadworks.
SHAUN MICHAEL OWEN, 24
Jenny Hetherington and her family endured a second round of grieving after finding out in March that the roadside tribute for Ms Hetherington's son, Shaun, had to be moved.
Shaun was just starting his life 14 years ago when he was killed on Serpentine Creek Rd, Redland Bay, aged just 24.
Redland City Deputy Mayor Julie Talty publicly called for help to locate the family before roadworks started.
"Last night was like 14 years ago... history repeated itself," Ms Hetherington, who now lives in NSW, said at the time. "I just fell apart."
Shaun, from Capalaba, had been attempting to turn around on the notorious black spot on December 4, 2006 when the horror crash happened.
He was on his way to Logan to finish a tattoo honouring his nephew, Ashley, who about to turn three when he drowned in a dam on a family property.
"2006 was the worst year of my life," Mrs Hetherington said.
Shaun's family had left a touching memorial at the site, complete with two crosses, a small part of his beloved car, a plaque, his photo and a pair of sunglasses.
A heartbreaking note left by his then four-year-old son Bailey read: "I miss you dad".
KYLE ASCOUGH, 29
Police were called in February when friends of the Warner father-of-three performed burnouts at the scene of his death to honour their mate.
The practice, while not condoned by police, is widespread across the state.
Kyle left behind his fiancee, Gopi Turner, who started a GoFundMe page to pay for the funeral, and Kyle's children, Rylan, Alaska and Braja.
Kyle's motorcycle and an oncoming car collided at the intersection of Lilley Rd and Beech Drive, Cashmere, at night on February 20. He died at the scene.
In a heartbreaking video posted to social media, Ms Turner described how Kyle's body "got launched all the way" down the road, prompting his family and friends to move their flowers and tributes closer to that location.
"We're moving it all down there because that's where his body landed," she said.
Police were called to the scene of the crash after receiving multiple calls about people standing on the roadway and conducting burnouts.
CHLOE ARTHUR, 17; CONNOR ANDERSEN, 21
A memorial at the spot where the young pair lost their lives at Torbanlea in June last year was quickly inundated with flowers and photos.
Chloe's mum Becky McArthur built another memorial in Maryborough for those who couldn't access the highway.
Ms McArthur said special plaques were being created for Chloe and Connor.
The pair was driving home to Maryborough when the accident happened.
JOSHUA MOWAT, 26
A popular Advancetown fish and chip shop became a shrine to the young man in the days after the horror motorbike crash that claimed his life in November last year.
He with his father, Bruce, in the Gold Coast hinterland at the time. The stretch of road is a notorious black spot.
The Mowat family own The Galleon Takeaway at Currumbin Waters and Josh worked there with his dad, mum Linda and sister Sammy.
Locals laid bunches of flowers in front of the shop after it posted news of the tragedy on its Facebook page.
"Today I am broken … thank u all for wishes," one heart-wrenching message read.
"RIP … Joshua (was) loved by many. Bruce is broken,'' another said.
"He sparkled your boy … upsell the dessert with a massive smile," one customer wrote.
KYLE LEBISH, 22; BRENT WHITTINGTON, 20
Vandals also desecrated a tribute to the pair, in October, 2017.
They perished in 2008 in Rockhampton after losing control of their vehicle.
What was once a place of solitude to remember Kyle and his friend was marred by the callous act.
Both white crosses were ripped from the soil and Kyle's had been snapped in half.
The once beautiful, bright flowers were trampled and the men's place of memory was now a place of sadness.
Brett, Kyle and his girlfriend were watching the State of Origin at a friend's house and were travelling home at the time. Luckily, the girlfriend was dropped off just beforehand.
Kyle's sister, Imogen, who was nine at the time, said the memorial had been a place for reflection for her.
"We go there a lot to water the garden and just sit and reflect," she said.
"Sometimes I play music and just sit and chat so it's a very important place for us and I'm just so angry what's happened."
Brent's father, Roger, described his son as an "happy-go-lucky" man who would do anything for a friend.
EMILY BARNETT, 21
Last month Emily's grieving family made a heartbreaking journey to the site 15km south of Rockhampton where their daughter lost her life in a head-on two-vehicle crash.
Her distraught Uncle, Leyland Barnett, was among the family members who laid a floral tribute at the Bruce Highway crash site.
Well known in the Rockhampton community for his role as a driving instructor and his work as a road safety advocate, Mr Barnett said he was devastated.
"Emily was a hard worker and knew how to save money, buying a car and house to secure a good future. She was always happy and enjoyed life to the fullest," he said.
He said Emily only recently had a 21st birthday party where she enjoyed everyone's company and talked about her ambitions.
"She was the eldest in her family of two sisters and a brother that now are missing her shining light," he said.
JEREMY TURNER, 27
Neighbours complained to Council in 2019, asking them to remove the Bracken Ridge memorial to the young father who died earlier in the year.
The memorial to Jeremy 'Jerra' Turner included a painted wooden cross with photographs, flowers and solar lights at the end of a cul-de-sac on Barfoot St.
Council erected a sign near the memorial advising it must be removed.
Cr Amanda Cooper (Bracken Ridge) said that, unfortunately, the memorial had attracted mourners who made noise late at night, upsetting neighbours.
She spoke to the family to try to reach an agreement they were happy with.
"I understand roadside memorials are part of the grieving process for those who have tragically lost a loved one and I'll be working … to ensure an appropriate memorial is put in place," she said at the time.
Mr Turner was described by a close friend as "a loving soul" and a loyal father who loved his kids so much.
LUCIUS BAIRA-HILL, 13; AALIYAH TEPAA-BROWN, 17; RAYVEENA COOLWELL, 15; CAYENNE NONA, 14
Townsville was rocked by the deaths of the four teens, who died in a single-vehicle crash early on a June morning last year.
The car they were travelling in clipped a roundabout, overturned and hit a traffic light pole.
But the heartache for the families deepened when vandals destroyed an impromptu memorial, breaking vases and popping balloons. A baseball was left at the scene.
Belgian Gardens resident Lynette Trezona she when visited the site to pay her respects she saw the damage and missing photos.
"It's definitely been vandalised, I've been down by here a few times actually," Ms Trezona said.
"It's so hard to believe that anyone would want to trash it, I mean what's their motivation?"
KATHERINE LEADBETTER, MATTY FIELD
In February the distraught relatives of parents-to-be Katherine Leadbetter and Matty Field were put through further trauma when a mural painted in the couple's honour was mocked by a former Redland City Councillor.
There had been a huge public outpouring of sympathy for the couple and their unborn son, Miles, after they died while out walking at the side of the road in Alexandra Hills.
Former Division 9 councillor Paul Gleeson shared an image of the mural with the comment:
"Now, I don't profess to knowing much about art but what's your opinion of the 'tribute mural' at the Redshop?
"This was being done for Matt, Kate and their unborn baby, Miles, the victims of the horrific Aust Day crash.
"Yay or nay?
"To me, it looks more like a gay pride sign rather than a tribute to a tragic event."
Local artist Brooke, who knew the couple, painted the mural to restore a sense of "love and respect" to a community in mourning.
Colloquially known as the Red Shop in years gone by, the former convenience store attracted hundreds of mourners who placed cards and teddy bears after the couple's death.
"Heaps of people have been yelling feedback from their cars; I think everyone in the area is loving it," Brooke said of the mural and other tributes.
ALLISON BADEN-CLAY
After a massive community reaction to the westsider's brutal murder at the hands of her husband Gerard, a moving monument was built on Mt Crosby Rd in Anstead near where her body was found.
But to add to the heartache for Allison's family, vandals ripped a plaque from the sandstone memorial in 2017.
Allison's parents Geoff and Priscilla Dickie said they were grateful the plaque was later returned and the memorial restored by local businessman Rob Hanson.
"It's now back in its rightful place. I don't know why anyone would disrespect the family - they've been through enough without having to do this all again," Mr Hanson said at the time.
Mrs Dickie said the memorial was important for Allison's daughters, who were only five, eight and 10 when their father murdered Allison in April, 2012.
"It's a marking stone for them in the future, when we're gone, that this is where their mother was found," she said.
The plaque includes the message, "A loving mother, daughter, sister, sister-in-law, wife, and dear friend to all who knew her - forever in our hearts".
The memorial was controversy, with some western suburbs residents concerned about road safety and being reminded of the tragedy.
Drivers slowing to a crawl to look at the memorial and performing dangerous U-turns on the narrow road had created a hazard after it was erected.
Originally published as Monuments to grief: The moving tales behind roadside memorials
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