Mel Buttle: My dog hates winter but I love it

If you’ve got pale skin and red hair, hate ordering salad for lunch and have to pretend that you like couscous and kale, then winter is your time to shine, writes Mel Buttle.

IT’S WINTER and my dog knows it.

She’s now very difficult to trick into going outside once the sun goes down – that now requires a chicken wing and a lot of positive encouragement.

For a Queensland dog she’s an absolute sook.

She has a coat for winter, gets fed a bit more and sleeps under an old Laura Ashley doona cover of mine.

Why does your dog have such an expensive blanket Mel?

Well, after she lost her lunch on it, it became hers full-time. Is the lesson never to buy nice things, or never get a dog? I’ll keep you posted.

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There are little things that Queenslanders do when winter arrives.

Firstly we tell people the low overnight temperature with great pride.

“It got down to eight overnight at my place,” I’ll say to anyone who’ll listen.

It’s then their job to ask how many blankets I had on my bed to survive this unbelievable Arctic blast.

“Two, the doona and a flannelette sheet,” I reply, which is met with amazement that this is all happening here, in sunny Brisbane.

I love winter. My pale skin and red hair make me a natural summer hater, however winter is my time to shine.

I own several lovely but itchy jumpers that I wear each year for about a week and they are currently being wool washed in preparation for their big debut this season.

Queenslanders also like to mock anyone who’s cold.

Mel Buttle loves winter in Queensland.

July’s top average temp is only 21C, but you will still hear things like “nice scarf mate”, directed at those who dare to rug up.

Then, there are those who won’t admit they find it cold.

“You reckon this is cold, it’s 15C, this is pleasant.”

This sort of comment is usually a preamble to a long and self-indulgent travel story where they survived much worse conditions than a mild Brisbane winter. Well done to you.

I’m happy to admit it’s chilly – the first step to opening up the possibility of a hot chocolate, a soup, chips and gravy or a roast.

I love winter, as no one expects you to order a salad for lunch. What a relief to stop pretending to like things like couscous and kale.

Winter does have its downsides, though: dry skin, lips in need of a papaw ointment IV and legs that need to be sanded back before I can even think about wearing a skirt anytime soon. Still, I’d rather be scaly than sweaty.

Mel Buttle is a Brisbane comedian