A love letter to the travel fling, the sweetest kind of romance

When in Rome

The travel crush might be the ultimate underdog in the relationship game. Here’s why. Image: Getty

They say we are different people when on holiday, and this can often extend to our love lives. No matter where you are in your personal life, a vacay is a chance to recharge, and escape reality – you never know what or who you might discover. 

When we head off on a trip, we’re often consumed with what beaches we’re going to swim at, what museums or historical sites we’ll be whisked away to, or finally getting the chance to read that book that we’ve been meaning to get to for forever. But there’s one additional area I’d bet my bottom dollar that we’ve all dreamt and lusted about as we set off on a holiday – the idea of having a hot travel fling.

The travel fling is a casual relationship between two people – usually travellers – who enjoy each other's company for the very, very short duration of time they have together. Sometimes, it might be a week spent playing in the sand, reenacting scenes from Mamma Mia! Other times, it might be short and sweet, cheered on by rounds of spicy margaritas, culminating in one lustful night spent together.

The travel fling is, in this writer’s humble opinion, the ultimate underdog when it comes to our dating lives. 

While we might often be concerned with finding ‘the one’ (before inevitably getting fed up with what's on offer on the apps), it might be high time we start looking in the travel fling category to satisfy us, at least temporarily.

If we’re in a transitory time in our lives or still figuring out what we actually want in a partner, the travel fling is there with open arms (and suitcases), allowing us to test before we invest. It’s there for adventure and fun nights. It’s there to validate us, give us attention, and of course, give us good sex.

For this writer, the travel fling was a saving grace. I hadn’t had a crush in years. In fact, it reached the point where I began to contemplate whether my exes had permanently ruined me, frying a wire in my brain that made me incapable of romantic relationships.

That was until I went travelling overseas and developed a mini-crush on not one, not two, but three (!) fellow travellers. While I knew that our days were limited, the travel fling effectively ‘reset’ my romantic expectations, showing that not every relationship needed to be shitty and serious – they could just be fun!

Travelling is the sweetest kind of affair. Image: iStock

While I would never recommend going into a holiday with the intention of finding a travel fling (you’re in far too interesting of a place to make plans around potential romances), being open to a travel crush can be seriously healing. 

When we’re in the middle of adventuring and exploring a new place in the world, the travel fling can also act as a bit of exploration into who we are romantically. When we’re on holiday, we’re almost different versions of ourselves, undressing the corporate versions of ourselves to reveal a hot, bikini-clad saucy minx who’s free, fun, and flirty.

While we know that we can’t be as carefree as we are on holiday in the real world (at least most of the time), having someone see us as such a different version of ourselves (and sometimes a truer one) can be liberating. 

Travel flings exist to make us feel good. Both from a validation perspective (yes, tell me that I’m hot!) as well as a physical perspective. A slight step up from the one-night stand, the travel fling says that yes, there are no commitments in this relationship. But hell, they respect you enough to at least make sure you have a good time.

Travelling can present dating opportunities like nowhere else. Image: iStock

Perhaps one of the best things about the travel fling is that they exist purely in a good light, before reality seeps in and makes them murky. Most women have been there; you have a crush on someone until they let you down, say something weird, or do something that makes you see them in a different light. 

But the travel crush? No such thing. 

The travel crush remains in this in-between area, like purgatory, where you’ve only seen a shell of them (and often, their best selves), and they haven’t been tainted by that damn thing called reality. They’re good and funny and hot and kind because we don’t really know them, we just know the best version of themselves.

Then poof! They’re unceremoniously whisked away from our lives forever – before we've had a chance to really know them and they've had a chance to disappoint us. 

Yes, the travel fling operates on one part delusion, one part suspension of belief, and one part FOMO, but when the world can be so mundane and monotonous and our dating lives as dry as the Sahara, the cure might just be a good old holiday fling.

Originally published as A love letter to the travel fling, the sweetest kind of romance