‘I love my stepdaughter, but that doesn’t mean she can have her own bedroom’

“I want to set expectations now, Amelia is always welcome, but she will be welcome as a ‘guest.’”

The countdown is on until Shelley* and Liam* move into their first home together. 

The couple have been together for two years and is excited to start a new chapter in their lives hand-in-hand. 

Liam, who has a four-year-old daughter, Amelia*, from a previous relationship, is just as excited for her dad to move into his new house. 

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this. 

Shelley doesn't want Amelia to have her own room. Picture: iStock

Woman refuses to let 4yo stepdaughter have her own room

Amelia visits her dad and Shelley fairly often, staying over for the weekend and spending time with the family during the summer holidays. 

So when Liam told his 4yo he would be moving to a new home 30 minutes away, Amelia became worried her dad had moved too far away. 

RELATED: 'I treat my step-daughter different to my biological kids, and I'm proud of it'

Liam assured her this wasn’t the case; “she will still get to visit all the time,” he told her.

He also told his daughter that not only would she be able to visit any time she likes, she’d also have her own bedroom there, too. 

That means whenever she wanted to stay with her dad and Shelley, she’d have a place of her own to sleep and play. 

Introducing our new podcast: Mum Club! Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts so you never miss an episode.

The new house has three bedrooms, one of which Shelley and Liam plan on converting to a study, leaving one spare bedroom.

Here’s where Shelley comes in. 

See, Shelley has been in a relationship with Liam since Amelia was two years old and has loved spending time with her future stepdaughter. 

“I love [Amelia] with all my heart,” Shelley explained in the Reddit post. 

“My issue is that I don't want Amelia to treat the only spare bedroom as her personal bedroom,” she said. 

Instead, she wants to convert it to a “‘guest’ bedroom.”

RELATED: I left my stepdaughter's party after my husband threw out the cake I made her

That’s not to say that Shelley doesn’t want the 4yo staying there at all, she clarified. 

“Of course, [Amelia] can stay there whenever she wants to,” she stressed. “That isn’t part of the debate; I want her to feel welcome all the time.”

It in Shelley’s mind, she doesn’t want to deck out the spare room for Amelia, who “is not there 90 per cent of the time.” 

“I don't want it to be only her room,” she said. “I don't want it to be filled with her toys and clothes, so nobody else feels comfortable to sleep in there.” 

Firstly, did they not discuss this before buying the property?

Secondly, it’s interesting that Shelley wants to decorate the room for a possible future guest in the distant future, but not her future stepdaughter, who is guaranteed to stay there at least a handful of times a year.

Instead, Shelley said that she would rather convert that spare room into a kid’s room when she and Liam have a child of their own. 

“I want to make sure that when that happens, we will have space for them to live,” she said. 

But not for Amelia, apparently. 

“I can only imagine the circus in a few years if we have to tell [Amelia] we are taking away her room to give to her new sibling,” she said. 

“That's why I want to set expectations now - that [Amelia] is always welcome, but she will be welcome as a ‘guest.’”

Liam was devastated by this news and told Shelley his 4yo needs a bedroom of her own, even for the sake of stability. 

“He says we can keep a pull-out sofa in our office for guests to stay on and call the spare room ‘Amelia’s room,’” Shelley said. 

“I still don't think it's fair to have a room just for [Amelia] when she won't use it very often. And I think it's reasonable to be worried at the prospect of eventually giving [Amelia's] room away to a future child.

RELATED: I broke my promise to my dead wife to take care of her daughter with Down syndrome

“That poor girl”

Rushing to the comments, the Reddit community quickly pointed out how entitled Shelley was behaving and argued she wasn’t ready for the responsibility of raising a child. 

“You are not ready for this relationship,” someone sternly wrote. “His daughter is not a guest, she's a part of his life. And by acting the way you are, you are not making her feel welcome.”

“She would rather have real guests have a room rather than a child,” said another. “Umm, your guests probably aren’t going to be there 90 per cent of the time either.”

“She is a member of the family and deserves her own space,” wrote a third.

Others couldn’t help but highlight how cruel Shelley’s behaviour was. 

“Sorry honey, you can’t have this room because someday I want MY child to sleep in it,” read a comment. “That poor little girl.”

“Things change,” another pointed out. “For all she knows, his daughter could need to move in next week.

“Already having her own room and her own space would make that transition a lot easier for her.”

*Names have been changed

Originally published as ‘I love my stepdaughter, but that doesn’t mean she can have her own bedroom’