Mel Buttle: Why my dog is on drugs

My dog is on more medication than me. Since I moved into my new house, her anxiety has gone through the roof.

Mel Buttle. Picture: Ian Currie

MAYBE she’s a snob and doesn’t like Ipswich? She seemed happier at leafy inner-city Greenslopes but out here she’s gone loco.

Ruby has two separate medications: Zoloft daily for her ongoing anxiety, and Xanax for her storm phobia. Until I got Ruby, I wondered what dogs had to be anxious about. I mean she has a great life, raw chicken wings as a treat and a yard to roll around in. Getting these meds into her is quite the challenge. I’ve tried hiding them in cheese, bits of pork crackling and mushed up in her food. Ruby can’t find a dropped slice of bread on a kitchen floor, but she can pick out a milligram of Zoloft in a plate of dog biscuits.

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I am seeing some improvements since the meds have started. The manic dance-and-run number she does when I come home has been cut in half. I’m not sure what your dog does when you get home, but it looks like Ruby’s torn between trotting on the spot in a circle in front of me and running away. So, what I get these days is a very disjointed tap aerobics routine, reminiscent of my mum’s ’80s Jane Fonda workout tape.

Also, her barking at the postie is not filled with as much vitriol. She still sounds off, but without the commitment in the bark that I’m used to. She’s lost that real psychotic element, which is great news for delivery people, but burglars please disregard: she is a total menace and would do unspeakable damage to your ankles.

Ruby is not as needy, thanks to Zoloft. She is no longer obsessed with being at my feet and instead is out and about in the yard all day, no interest in me and my need to rest my foot on a warm brindle pooch while I watch tele.

It feels very first world to be medicating my dog. I’m aware of how this all sounds, but Ruby was afraid of curtains. Something drastic had to be done and a box of Zoloft is far cheaper than a house full of venetian blinds.

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