Brooke Falvey talks losing loved ones, appreciating little things in life

After Melissa’s funeral, I sat on my balcony and looked at the stars … I like to think that somewhere, out in that vast universe are those we have loved and lost.

It’s funny how some sentences stop us in our tracks and turn a normal day upside down.

They’re often made up of just a few words. I love you. We need to talk. Will you marry me? I’ve got some sad news.

Unfortunately, I’ve heard that last one too often in the past few weeks, as my mum has been tasked with letting me know that two much-loved friends had passed away.

One loss was sudden and shock took over before tears could fall, as I struggled to process that our friend Ian – a husband, father, grandfather and one of the kindest men I’ve ever met – wouldn’t be there to hug hello and chat to at the next party.

Brisbane News columnist Brooke Falvey.

The second person was my friend Melissa: a mum of five who loved her family, her property and her animals.

She will forever be aged in her early 40s after a long battle with cancer.

At Melissa’s funeral, we were encouraged to follow her lead and stop to “enjoy the little things in life because one day you’ll look back and realise they were the big things”.

It’s easy to get caught up focusing on the next big milestone, event, celebration, or purchase: birthdays, weddings, babies, jobs, cars and houses, and yet it’s more likely to be the little things that are essential to our daily joy – a meal shared with someone we love, reconnecting with an old friend, reading a good book, enjoying a quiet cup of coffee.

“Enjoy the little things in life” encourages Brooke Falvey.

But it’s only in times of loss that we remember that life is finite and it’s fragile. We promise ourselves that we will take time – and make time – and we do, for a few days or weeks.

Then we fall back into the daily grind until something else happens to make us pause, reflect and recalibrate.

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After Melissa’s funeral, I sat on my balcony and looked at the stars; not an easy feat given I live within 5km of the city where darkness doesn’t exist.

I couldn’t spot many, but I knew they were there and I was reminded of a quote by author Kate Bartolotta: “Look at the stars. It won’t fix the economy. It won’t stop wars. It won’t give you flat abs, or even help you figure out your relationship. But it’s important. It helps you to remember that you and your problems are both infinitesimally small and conversely, that you are a piece of an amazing and vast universe.”

I like to think that somewhere, out in that vast universe among the stars shining brightest, are those we have loved and lost.