This 112-year-old airport hub is an uninspiring monolith

The airport

Hamburg Airport (HAM), the city’s only commercial airport.

The flight

Eurowings flight EW 7170 to Munich. Departure time 6am on a Tuesday.

The arrival

An overground train connects the airport with trendy Altona, in Hamburg’s west, via the central station. The 25-minute, eight-kilometre trip from the city centre costs about €6 ($10). Since I’m on a red-eye flight, my only option is a half-hour bus that runs every 20 minutes. It’s an impressive service considering the ungodly hour. Even better – if you buy a €49 monthly “Deutschlandticket”, it covers ground transport nationwide (except fast trains) including this airport trip.

The look

Hamburg is one of the world’s oldest operating airports, founded in 1911. Now it’s becoming a popular hub for foreign travellers seeking a Berlin alternative. But the airport hasn’t been updated to reflect Hamburg’s anti-establishment, “I do what I want” vibe. It’s a mostly grey, uninspiring monolith. Bonus points for the sign telling me the bathrooms use rain water collected at the airport.

Inside Hamburg Airport – mostly drab and grey.Credit: iStock

Check-in

​​My path to Munich is the airport’s busiest route, flying up to 20 times daily. Thankfully I only have hand luggage because the Eurowings bag drop line looks scarily similar to the security lines…

Security

Even at 4am, I arrive to seven snaking lines – perhaps explained by the fact that every second flight seems to be to Mallorca, and every third traveller is donning their holiday fedora. I am no morning person and the 60-minute crawl to the scanners doesn’t help the cause. Once I’m through, a security worker does an impressive impression of a child at Christmas and flips my meticulously packed bag to dig out a speaker for a bomb test. Admittedly, I am that guy with the indefensibly large piece of hand luggage that is somehow still bulging at the zippers.

Food + drink

The best options are available before security: a couple of German bakeries, an Edeka supermarket and a McDonald’s catch my eye. The sadness of having to rush to security – and miss a morning pretzel – is compounded by a dearth of options near the gates. I decide on a vacuum-sealed croissant for €4 from one of three cafes. The sandwiches cling filmed to sweaty suffocation aren’t doing it for me.

Retail therapy

Beyond the classic duty-free and luxury fashion options, a 130-square-metre art gallery successfully transports me away from that airport atmosphere. Last-minute souvenirs include ships in bottles and fisherman’s hats – nods to Hamburg’s maritime history – as well as T-shirts bearing the skull and crossbones of Saint Pauli, the city’s most out-there district and soccer team.

Passing time

Entry to a general lounge costs €39 ($64). You can also use a co-working space for €17. I opt for neither of the above, and eke out just enough speed from the public WiFi to call my dad. There are some benefits to early-morning flying when it’s lunchtime in Australia.

The verdict

Transport is efficient, but the only memorable experience is security, and it’s not a rosy memory. If a train took a comparable or even slightly longer time (if your destination is within 500 kilometres, for example, but in this case it’s 790 kilometres), I’d opt for that.

Our rating out of five

★★★

The writer travelled at his own expense.