Catastrophes ruined our US holiday plan. We turned it into an epic adventure

I never planned to drive across the US. Instead, I’d envisaged a leisurely rail trip from Los Angeles to New Orleans aboard Amtrak’s Sunset Limited sleeper train through “cowboy country” – California, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas and Louisiana.

The trip for our group of four had already been deferred several times because of pandemic lockdowns, so it was gloomy news when Amtrak announced a strike just hours before the train was due to pull out of LA.

The tangle of freeways drivers must negotiate along Interstate 10.Credit: iStock

The rail route follows the Interstate 10, the second transcontinental route across the US, so, as we had already paid for several hotel stopovers along the way, we make a snap decision to hire a car.

It takes us an hour to negotiate the tangle of freeways escaping LA before joining the vast and speedy world of Interstate 10. We should have been sleeping on the train that first night so late in the day we start searching the exits for possible overnight opportunities. We like the idea of Tombstone, Arizona, the site of the Gunfight at the OK Corral, but it lies an hour off the Interstate 10 and, with a visit to Wyatt Earp’s Oriental Saloon and Theatre, it will mean 12 hours of driving the next day to our first hotel booking in Alpine, Texas.

What with obsessing about beds and the 80mph (129kmh) speed limit no-one notices the plummeting fuel gauge. We limp into the small desert community of Chiriaco Summit in Southern California with just 34 miles (56 kilometres) of fuel left in the tank.

As dusk descends we take the exit to Casa Grande.

Despite its name, Casa Grande is not a tourist haven. However, there are several conventions in town and accommodation is at a premium. Finally, at a low-budget motel with the red neon “O” missing from “Motel”, a grim-faced receptionist hands over the keys to two basic but spotless rooms. This motel seems to reflect the cultural contradictions which prevail in the US: one sign at the entrance bans all alcohol, another proclaims “Lighters, matches and glue for sale at front desk.”

The Texas Roadhouse in Casa Grande is a happy place. The relentlessly cheerful staff wear “I love my job” t-shirts as they serve cold beers, giant steaks and margaritas. On cue, they form a posse to converge on a beaming diner with a rousing Texas version of Happy Birthday, culminating in boisterous high-fives and yee-haws.

I note at least three types of gun restrictions in Texas establishments: a McDonald’s in Ozona asks patrons not to carry weapons openly; an art museum in San Antonio prohibits weapons open or concealed, while a nearby cafe allows firearms, but they have to be licensed, otherwise a maximum fine of $10,000 or 10 years’ jail apply.

It’s a full day’s drive through Arizona badlands and its emblematic “stick’em up” cacti to the Holland Hotel in the small city of Alpine, West Texas.

Small-town America: Alpine, Texas.Credit: iStock

We have pre-booked local guide Hank (not his real name) to take us to Big Bend, the biggest National Park in Texas. Stick’em up Hank’s charges are $US1200 ($1794) for a day trip plus another $US100 to collect us from the Alpine railway station.

He advises by email that he can’t waive this smaller fee because notice of the rail strike has come too late. During the night, I wake to the sound of a passing freight train and realise the railway station is just across the road.

The day tour starts with three of us squeezed into the back of Hank’s shiny red pick-up truck whereupon he mentions casually that we have 100 miles of prairie to cover before the Big Bend tour starts. It seems that distance and speed are irrelevant to Texans. Just over an hour later we drive over a stony hill and there below us is a mini-Grand Canyon, a giant meander of the Rio Grande separating the US from Mexico.

There’s no sign of Trump’s Wall, “illegals” braving the turbulent current or any other traffic but in the middle of seemingly nowhere we are stopped by federal police at a checkpoint demanding our “papers”. A closer look at four ageing Australians convinces them that we haven’t taken the wet way into Texas.

Hank explains this is a “secondary” checkpoint, meaning guards catch most “illegals” after they have crossed the border and are heading north by car with friends.

Texas’ Big Bend National Park sits along the border of Mexico.Credit: iStock

The Century Bar and Grill at Alpine’s Holland Hotel offers good ’ol country and western music in the pleasant beer garden, but charges my credit card double on successive nights for dinner. I manage to get one transaction reversed with a sympathetic barman explaining, “We have a jackass computer here.”

Texans not only favour big hats, big cars and big ranches, they also serve big meals. We find one main meal is sufficient for two people. Whereas I am obsessed with a daily count of 10,000 steps, it seems the aim for Texans is 10,000 calories. Every packaged food item has a printed calorie count,
perhaps for record-breaking purposes.

Back on the road to our second scheduled stopover, San Antonio, the Interstate 10 is particularly busy. We share the road with huge trucks and hundreds of small white vans ferrying online purchases across America. There is a notable absence of police vehicles despite widespread flouting of the speed limit. However, if a police car did pull over a car, there would be a real chance of a massive pile up.

Eye-catching billboards are also a traffic hazard. They seem to be the province of litigation lawyers (Hit by a truck? Call Chuck!) and Soul Savers (Shackled by Lust? Turn to Jesus!)

After driving 1416 miles (2284 kilometres) from LA, we reach San Antonio and our pre-booked hotel about 10 hours ahead of schedule.

The San Antonio Riverwalk, Texas.Credit: iStock

San Antonio’s only attractions are The Riverwalk, a canal lined with restaurants, and The Alamo, the fort where Davey Crockett and others died in 1836 defying the Mexican army.

The information on the walls of the well-kept fort makes heroes of Davey, James Bowie and others. But upon closer reading, I find myself siding with the Mexicans whose government had given the American settlers free land in exchange for swearing fealty to it. The sites where these “independence fighters” died is identified. Asked where the Alamo leader Colonel Travis died, a security guard points: “Over there, near the Welcome Centre.”

Good news! The Amtrak strike is over. We return the hire car and board The Sunset Limited in San Antonio at dawn for the final leg to New Orleans. It quickly lives up to expectations with an excellent dining car and spectacular observation deck.

Stuff of local legend: The Alamo.Credit: iStock

Then, catastrophe. Thirteen minutes outside of Texas’s biggest city we encounter a genuine “Houston, we have a problem”. The train jolts and then takes 200 metres to stop. Over the intercom the conductor announces: “Somebody’s hit our train.”

A semitrailer has tried to jump the boom gates, is hit by the train, jackknifes and rolls over. Within minutes every variety of first responder reports for duty, checking passengers, the train, the truck and the rail tracks.

For four hours we gaze at a staples factory until a replacement engine arrived. Then it’s another three hours at Houston as Amtrak regulations require a change of crew. With the train finally departing at 9pm, we miss seeing the Mississippi delta in daylight.

So to our “Roomettes”. These comprise two comfy armchairs by day but converting them to bunk beds for sleeping requires the skill of a Rubik’s cube maestro or a helpful Amtrak attendant. Both are in short supply.

We arrive in New Orleans at daybreak. Our hotel in the French Quarter is perfect, in terms of location, comfort and service. They liken Australians to “British Texans” but there are some translation problems, such as when my wife calls reception to ask for hair conditioner and the hotel engineer arrives at the door with a spanner to fix the air-conditioner.

The French Quarter, New Orleans.Credit: Joel Carillet/iStock

We circle the city twice in a hop on/off bus, where guides point to two separate locations where Lee Harvey Oswald apparently lived immediately before moving to Dallas.

We are now keen to see the bayou. A swamp boat trip exceeds expectations. Its gnarled, aged and tattooed river guide feeds alligators marshmallows, calling them in French and patting their heads. Of all the unexpected consequences of our eight-day trip, this southern ol’ boy provides the biggest surprise when he points to drastic changes in the estuary in his own lifetime and declares climate change to be the biggest challenge facing the world.

THE DETAILS

Fly

Qantas, United, Delta and American all fly direct to LA

Rail

Amtrak Sunset Limited fare LA - Alpine - San Antonio - New Orleans $1791.

Drive

All major car hire companies have offices at LA Airport and downtown. Our car was from Hertz Beverly Hills. An additional $US10 a day applies for each driver

More

Amtrak refunded $568.50 of the 2020 Sunset Limited price of $1285

The writer travelled at his own expense.