Why don’t strangers smile back at me while I’m out walking around my ’hood?
Q: While walking around my suburb and beyond, I like to make eye contact with fellow walkers and invariably smile, nod or say good morning as we pass. It’s very disappointing that so many people ignore me. Can you explain why?
A.M., Clayfield, QLD
A: Hey, I do the same thing. I’m also an irritatingly perky, annoyingly jaunty, footpath-strutting people-greeter. If I see someone walking towards me, I’ll usually catch their eye, give them a smile and, if the moment feels right, deliver a cheery “Morning” if it’s morning, “Afternoon” if it’s afternoon” or “Hey there” if they’ve come around a corner and caught me off-guard and I’ve forgotten what part of the day it is.
My philosophy is, if two people are sharing the same space and time, why wouldn’t we acknowledge each other’s existence? It’s like dogs stopping for a sniff but with smiles and words instead of snouts and anal glands. Of course, I’m also fully aware that many people on the street are not in the mood for a greeting: they may be painfully shy or lost in thought or weighed down by the heaviness of life – or maybe just the sight of my perky, jaunty face has irked something deep in their psyche. And I get that, I do.
So I’ve learned to let it go, resign myself to being a gracious greet-giver rather than a needy response-expecter. Though, sometimes, after passing a non-responder, I do occasionally mumble, “Fine, be like that”, just loud enough for them to hear. Because we irritatingly perky, annoyingly jaunty, footpath-strutting people-greeters can turn snarky very quickly. Until we spot our next potential greet-recipient up ahead, and then we bounce right back. Start working up that smile, widening those eyes and reminding ourselves over and over again what part of the day it is.
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Danny Katz is a columnist for The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald. He writes the Modern Guru column in the Good Weekend magazine. He is also the author of the books Spit the Dummy, Dork Geek Jew and the Little Lunch series for kids.
