The next time you complain about the service in a restaurant, remember this. The hospitality professionals out there may very well be complaining about you.

They’ll never do so publicly, of course, because that would betray both the term hospitality and the term professional. But late at night, as they polish the glasses and re-set the tables, certain types of diners are named and shamed in their private chats. See how many you recognise.

The finger clickers

Clicking your fingers to attract attention might work with dogs, but waiters are not dogs. If you really are being ignored, as opposed to just being over-privileged, make sure your face is visible to the service staff (they are trained to survey the room for faces turned their way), and raise your hand slightly. Much nicer, and no dogs will be disturbed.

The ditherers

“I’ll have the oysters with champagne dressing. No, the pig’s head terrine. Is it nice? Then the saffron mussels. No, the steak. Is it big? How big is it? How big is 300 grams? OK, I’ll have the mussels.” And yours is just one of the 35 orders that have to be taken in the next half hour. Meanwhile, somebody at the next table is clicking their fingers.

The spreaders

They come in, sit down, and unpack the contents of their satchel on the table – phone, glasses, computer, water bottle (yes, even a water bottle). The satchel sprawls on the floor, the computer bag takes up the next chair, and any minute now they’re going to lean way back and knock the glasses off the tray going past behind them.

The customisers

A menu is a list of what is available, not a mood board. By all means, ask them to work around dietary issues, but otherwise, choose options available at the restaurant that you (may we point out) have chosen to dine at. And please don’t ask the waiter to ask the chef if he/she will do something special for them. Waiters hate that, because they know what the chef is going to say.

The bill-splitters

Splitting the bill between two people, OK. Four people, no problem. Any more than six, and it’s an exercise that will tie up a member of staff as much as if they’d wandered off on a break. If you can all agree to split the bill evenly (with a tip), that’s a great help. If one diner had only an entree, and another had two glasses of Bollinger, let there be individual bills for them, and the rest of you split evenly. Or ask the staff how best to sort it; they may suggest an app for that.

And the type of diner professional waitstaff love?

A good diner is someone who respects the rules of engagement, who knows what they want, and is polite and good-humoured even when something goes wrong. Luckily, there are plenty of good diners around, to make up for the very few bad ones.

What makes good service?

Good service used to be represented by an older gentleman in a suit with a starched napkin folded over one arm. But a distinct trend is evident among the finalists for the Good Food Guide 2024 Oceania Cruises Service Excellence Award: an Australian way of doing things.

The nominees are renowned for service that is skilful but relaxed, and warm without being fussy. Above all, the way they look after people reflects the culture and philosophy of the restaurant they are in.

NSW and ACT’s five finalists

These are the finalists for The Sydney Morning Herald Good Food Guide 2024 Oceania Cruises Service Excellence Award:

Caitlin Baker, Such and Such, Canberra

Responsible for excellent cocktails, smart wine pours and flawless service, Baker is the powerhouse restaurant manager at Such and Such, the most engaging new spot for spatchcock and savagnin in the Canberra CBD.

Alice Dwyer, Pipit, Pottsville

Dwyer sees her restaurant manager role as synergistic, caring for guests and staff alike at Pottsville’s ambitious Pipit.It’s a tight team, so chefs are skilled at table service, and waitstaff will jump into the kitchen when needed, their common goal being to provide excellent hospitality.

Gianluca Esposto, a’Mare, Barangaroo

Charming, poised and unflappable, Italian-born Esposto expertly manages guest requests, recommends wine, and pummels basil with parmigiano in the biggest tableside mortar you’ve ever seen – sometimes all at once.

Nick Hildebrandt, Bentley Group, Sydney

With five Sydney restaurants and far-reaching cellars to manage, it’s testament to Hildebrandt’s hands-on work ethic that he’s still on the floor most nights, whether suggesting vin jaune with cheese at Monopole or blowing the dust off an old Penfolds up the road atBrasserie 1930.

George Papaioannou, Sixpenny, Stanmore

Papaioannou’s observant grace as Sixpenny’srestaurant manager has long been integral to Stanmore’s humble three-hatter, where dining is a civilised pursuit rather than a frenetic jump into warp-speed energy.

The winners of The Sydney Morning Herald Good Food Guide 2024 Awards will be announced on October 23, presented by Vittoria Coffee and Oceania Cruises. The Sydney Morning Herald Good Food Guide 2024 will be on sale from October 24.

Victoria’s five finalists

These are the finalists for The Age Good Food Guide 2024 Oceania Cruises Service Excellence Award:

Thibaut Chuzeville, Yugen, South Yarra

Chuzeville has his work cut out for him overseeing the multi-level, many-limbed marvel that is Yugen. From subterranean restaurant to day-time tea bar, private dining spaces to two omakase counters, he delivers thoughtful, warm service to all – and makes it look like a walk in the park.

Darren Fraser, TarraWarra Estate, Yarra Glen

It’s a rare hospitality professional who stays in one place for 20 years, but Fraser has been steering the good ship TarraWarra since 2003 – with several of his team also putting in many years of service. The hospitality offering has gradually become more serious, but Fraser has ensured the experience is always approachable.

Hannah Green, Etta, Brunswick East

Owner, maitre d’ and trained sommelier Hannah Green watches over her guests with a highly trained eye hiding beneath a bubbly persona that puts every table immediately at ease. Her uplifting energy is a huge part of what makes Ettaa Melbourne must-do.

Tess Murray, Chauncy, Heathcote

Precise yet warm service is just the beginning. Tess Murray is also an adept sommelier, manager of the kitchen garden and master of the relaxed rural chic at play in the French-inspired dining room. A young and engaging restaurateur on the rise.

Louise Naimo, Ishizuka, Melbourne

One of the true delights of dining at this refined omakase restaurant is the seamless service led by Naimo. You’ll feel it as soon as you step into the space but, throughout the evening, she will guide you to drink pairings smartly and with a resonating joy that is quickly contagious.

The winners of The Age Good Food Guide 2024 Awards will be announced on October 30, presented by Vittoria Coffee and Oceania Cruises. The Age Good Food Guide 2024 will be on sale from October 31.

Correction: An earlier version listed Pipit as being located in Paynesville. This has since been updated to Pottsville.