History is a set of lies agreed upon, so said Napoleon Bonaparte. Greg Hunt, shorter in both stature and temper, last week banned Australian citizens from leaving the country, even if they ordinarily reside in another, lest anyone wrongly believe the myth that the West won the Cold War.

The lucky few who’ve successfully breached the Iron Curtain include Forum Finance boss Bill Papas to, er, see a football match in Greece, and 95 per cent of Maliver managing director Melissa Caddick, the remainder of whom washed up on the Culburra shoreline.