Various arms of the Liberal Party are in a race to see who can wash off the clown make-up first. The South Australian Liberals had their former leader, David Speirs, fined for supplying cocaine last month. The Victorians want to run the country’s second-largest economy when it’s unclear if they can run a bath. Peter Dutton just handed Anthony Albanese the biggest Labor electoral victory since John Curtin.

The well-worn joke about the WA Liberals is that they can all fit in a Tarago (this has run through a second electoral cycle after the party was pasted by Roger Cook last month, leaving them with seven members in the lower house). They’re now led by Basil Zempilas, the former AFL caller who is the Wario to Bruce McAvaney’s Mario.