First they came for chefs in their kitchens. I did not speak out. Then they came for our children’s feet. I did not speak out. Now, they are everywhere, and I really must say something.
They are at the gym. At the playground. In the hospital. At the shops. On public transport. Recently, they made an appearance in my own home. And it’s not just them – now they come with added extras, little charms that you attach to the front, to personalise – prettify? – these monstrosities. Like herpes, they seem to multiply and because they’re made of thick, cheap plastic, just like an STD they’ll never really go away.