Mummy wine culture: How mum-of-two Isabella Ferguson knew she had a problem

When Isabella Ferguson stepped down from her legal career to be a stay-at-home mum, she embraced the “mummy wine culture” to escape fatigue, loneliness and stress of parenting.

Isabella Ferguson is sober after she struggled with alcohol. Picture: Brenton Edwards

Stay-at-home mum and former lawyer Isabella Ferguson could not admit she had a drinking problem until she came home one day too drunk to speak or walk straight and ended up in hospital.

The now 48-year-old counsellor would regularly drink two bottles of wine a night – often more on weekends – and drink alone before going out.

She found herself hiding her drinking from her children and husband, visiting the bottle shop to replace wines she had drunk earlier and anticipating 3pm when her two kids got home from school to have a glass of wine.

“I would pour a glass and I’d hide it in the pantry,” the Stirling mum said.

She would hide wine bottles as well.

Isabella Ferguson is sober after she struggled with alcohol. She is a registered counsellor & coach specialising in alcohol, stress management & burnout. Picture: Brenton Edwards

When Ms Ferguson found herself craving connections and fun after leaving a fast-paced career four years ago she became entrenched in “mummy wine culture”.

“It is so appealing for a mum that has been quite isolated … to suddenly throw themselves into the lunches, the dinners, and the party when their kids go to school,” Ms Ferguson said.

“You see all the pink labelled bottles of champagne and suddenly your loneliness, your depletion of energy, your fatigue, your stress that comes from parenting has an answer.”

For Ms Ferguson, working full-time as an environment lawyer meant she missed out on connecting with the mums at her children’s school.

“I threw myself into it (mum wine culture) because I developed the belief around needing alcohol to socialise and be fun from a very early age.”

She started drinking when she was 14.

“I remember it tasted horrible but I suddenly felt like all my anxieties melted away, it gave me a boost of self confidence,” she said.

For Ms Ferguson, alcohol continued to be present in her life from that point on.

She drank throughout high school, university and throughout her early legal career.

While studying she received high marks, went on to secure a great job, got married, became a stepmum, had kids of her own and lived a “really good life”.

“I was probably drinking, at that point, a bottle of wine about five nights a week,” she said.

Ms Ferguson said on weekends the amount would “tip over into more because you’re not counting your drinks”.

“I was a very functional grey area drinker but I was slowly moving up the spectrum into high risk territory,” she said.

Her husband brought her to hospital after she drank too much alcohol. Picture: Brenton Edwards

Ms Ferguson noticed herself entering what she calls “the flashing red zone” after suffering burn out and leaving her legal job to stay at home.

After 12 months of heavy drinking in February 2020, Ms Ferguson was drinking alone at home before she set out to meet her husband for dinner.

She drank more at dinner and even more at home until she couldn’t walk or speak.

“My blood alcohol level got so high that my husband looked at me and he was just so shocked, so worried,” she said.

He brought his wife to the hospital where she was admitted for four days before entering four weeks of rehab.

“I surrendered, I can remember feeling such relief. My husband was really gentle and compassionate about it,” she said.

“It took about 12 months to really break free from alcohol and shame.”

Now Ms Ferguson works as a counsellor and coach specialising in alcohol, stress management and burnout.

Ruth Limkin, chief development officer at Sana Health Group said mum wine culture is perpetuated by social media.

“We know unfortunately Australians get drunk double the global average at about 27 times a year.”

She said a third of Australians report feeling more comfortable after a drink at a social event.

“This idea that women turn to alcohol to manage the stress of being a mum and having young children and it’s become normalised when in fact it’s something we should really be encouraging people to take steps to change.”