David Penberthy: The A to Z of living in SA
An A to Z of Australian icons were released on coins this week. David Penberthy has gone one better – here is an A to Z of everything great about living in SA.
Opinion
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Australia Post and the Australian Mint this week launched a special coin collection celebrating Australia in alphabet form.
Surely we can go one better and come up with our A to Z of South Australia, recognising what makes our own state great in this lyrical tribute to life as a Croweater.
A is for ANNE, we know her as Willsy, her beehive was styled by Feres Trabilsie. And A’s for a man with an awesome bouffant. ARTURO Taverna, he knows what you want.
B is for BALFOURS who make all the pies, and for BARNSEY whose songs can bring tears to your eyes.
And B’s for a sculptor, BERT Flugelman, with the shiniest balls in all of the land.
C is for COOPERS and CRABBING and CENTRAL, the market without an Australian equal. C is for CROWS, whose flags are a haze, now in the third decade of their rebuilding phase.
D is for DOUBLEin DOUBLE-CUT roll, and the heart-stoppingDAGWOOD DOGS served at the Show.
E is for EQUAL, giving women the vote, and the first ever land rights laws that Don Dunstan wrote.
F’s for FESTIVAL, FRINGE, and FRUCHOCSand FRITZ, don’t eat them together, it will make you quite sick.
But should you end up feeling poorly, grab some penicillin off Howard FLOREY.
And F is for footy, as inFOOTY PARK, too hot in the sun, too cold in the dark, a giant wind tunnel that counted few friends, but the only arena with a Chicken Salt end.
G’s for the GHANand for all those great GREEKS, who served King George whiting along GOUGER St.
And G’s for the grand in our once greatGRAND Prix, before it was pinched by those Victorian pr..ks.
H is forHAIGH’Swho make chocolate sublime in a town that eats bilbies when it’s Easter time.
I’s for ITALIANSand all their paesani, at Amalfi, Rigoni’s, Da Clemente, Campari. Don G’s is remembered for the finest calzone, and the late, great Barilla, for delicious cannoli.
K is for KANGAROO, as in the Island, and the KWELLS that you take, as you pray to reach dry land.
L’s for North Adelaide’sLE CORNUsite, the result of two decades of factional fights.
M’s for MAGIC MOUNTAIN, down at the Bay, it looked like a turd made from papier mache. But despite constant threats of razor attacks, we all loved to slide down the tubes on our backs.
M’s also for MIGRANTSfrom over the sea, that gave us top blokes like Hieu Van Le, and streets like MOONTA, where they serve yum cha, just down the road from the old MARS BAR .
N is for the NORTHERLIESthat smash our farms and gardens.
N’s forNIPPERand for NIMBLEat a Pageant we love as much as our children.
O’s for the OYSTERSyou find in Ceduna, best eaten with a lemon and an icy-cold schooner.
O is for the majestic OVERLANDER, if you want to head east for a bit of a gander.
P is for POWER, a bad name forPORT, who back in the SANFL excelled at the sport.
P is for potato as in POTATO FRITTER. (A scallop’s something you’d eat in a seafood dinner.)
Q is for QUENTIN, that late, great young bloke, who despite all he suffered was quick with a joke.
R is for ROADWORKS, they’re with us all the time. I’m down on the Expressway, I think I’ll be some time.
S is for SNOWTOWN, and more is the pity, linked to crimes that occurred far away from their city. S is for SPOONER, STOBIE POLE and SUEY, the jump that you do from the top of a jetty. S is the “S” in John McDouallSTUART, who made it to Darwin when Burke and Wills blew it. But our favourite “S” follows just one rule – when you meet someone new, ask where they went toSCHOOL.
T is for TRAMSand for TESTSat the Oval, where you can spend a whole day without seeing a ball.
U is for UGG boot, our national dress, when matched with a flanny, you’re dressed to impress.
V is for VILI’S, and V is for VICTOR, the South Aussie call sign for good times together.
W’s for our WINEin all of its guises, from a cheap cheerful red, to the ones that win prizes. There’s Barossa, Coonawarra, Langhorne Creek and Clare, or a classy day at the Sea and Vines, sliding off your chair.
X We’ve had many pollies but just oneXENOPHON. They said he’d be Premier then he was gone.
Y is for YIROS, not gyros or doners, or any inferior culinary misnomers.
Last but not least, that brings us to Z, the last word in what it means to be South Aussie.
ZZZZZZ is for those who regard us boring, like poor Lucy Zelic, just simply appalling. But the good thing from all of the nonsense they say, they at least keep the eastern-states’ halfwits away.