Ann Wason Moore opinion: How Scott Morrison failed the pub test

It’s official. Prime Minister Scott Morrison officially failed the pub test, writes Ann Wason Moore. Now he’s a stubby short of a six pack. Or is he? Here’s how it happened.

Poor ScoMo.

He’s bitterly failed the pub test.

In his attempt to appear a man of the people, the Prime Minister has instead ended up looking a stubby short of a six-pack.

All was revealed in a now-viral video in which the PM, despite promising no politicking on Anzac Day, visited a Townsville pub on Thursday and sipped a beer before a well lubricated crowd.

The emphasis being on “sipped’’.

‘Sipped.’. Picture Gary Ramage

When the packed pub caught sight of the PM with a frothy schooner, the crowd quickly launched into this classic chant: “Here’s to ScoMo, he’s true blue! He’s a piss pot through and through. He’s a bastard so they say. He tried to go to heaven but he went the other way!”

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Yet as the ditty reached its climax of “drink it down, down, down’’, Scomo, like the good Christian he is, clung to abstinence.

Rather than binge on beer, he chose to remain dry as a bull’s bum going up a hill backwards.

At least he enjoyed his time there. Picture Gary Ramage

The crowd was having none of that.

Jeers, heckles and flat-out insults were hurled his way.

“He’s no Bob Hawke!’’ cried one. Because we all want another PM who drinks lots of beer in world record time.

Explaining his drinking decline, the PM insisted he “was setting a good example for the kids”.

By hanging out in a pub. Obviously.

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Yet as ScoMo’s skol-no moment spread, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the bloke.

I’ve been there too, Scott.

It’s not easy to not drink in this country. After almost 30 years in Australia, I’m still not even close to keeping up with the true blue imbibers. (Although I do drink a helluva lot more than I used to. The reason? I have two children. Talk about setting a great example.)

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has been spending a fair bit of time in the pubs. (AAP Image/Mick Tsikas)

And here’s a confession that could see my Aussie citizenship officially cancelled: I hate beer.

I’ve drunk two tinnies in my life and that was two too many. And the only reason I gagged my way through those was the expectation from friends.

Forget high school, there is no greater peer pressure than in the pub. “Just one more! It’s your shout!’’

So maybe, in this instance, the PM deserves some respect — grudging though it may be.

After all, the easier option would have been to skol the stupid beer, but ScoMo stood up to the crowd. As he soon learned, that’s not a decision without consequences.

Yet the cynic in me wonders whether that wasn’t all part of his plan.

ABC reporter Jane Norman has noted that: “In almost two weeks observing the Prime Minister on the campaign trail, he’s shown an unerring habit of seeking out an RSL or hotel, with a beer in hand, meeting the locals and (on at least one occasion) calling the bingo. There is method to it.

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“While Mr Morrison mingles, a photo of him is uploaded to his Instagram account, often accompanied by a self-deprecating comment.

“It’s an orchestrated media strategy aimed at showing voters he’s just a regular bloke and no longer the shouty ‘stop the boats’ persona he embodied as immigration minister.”

Hmm … maybe then his decision to deny a drink was part of a stunt to highlight his moral backbone, to prove that he has the guts to make the tough calls.

After all, he could not have picked a worse location in which to just say “no’’.

When it comes to social behaviours, Townsville is much more country than city. Had ScoMo been imbibing in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane or even the Gold Coast, I’m confident that he would never even need to vocalise his objection to the amber ale.

Instead, the closest metrosexual would have whipped that fattening beer out of his hands in one hot second and immediately replaced it with a low-carb protein shake, while the chant would have called for a set of 30 burpees, not a 30-second skol.

Perhaps that’s the true nature of ScoMo’s epic fail at the pub test: it was an attempt to win the votes of fitness fanatics across the country.

I can hear his anti-carb, anti-beer rhetoric already: “Stop the bloat!’’

Or maybe I’m just overthinking all of this.

I’ll tell you what. I could do with a drink.

Originally published as Ann Wason Moore opinion: How Scott Morrison failed the pub test