We asked three South Australian couples how they managed their money | Life // Love // Sex

Once upon a time it was easy. He paid for everything. But how do modern couples sort their money? When it comes to love and money, what’s fair?

To split or not to split, that is the question. At the beginning of any new relationship, navigating the finances can be awkward and challenging.

Back in the day it was simple – men paid for everything and women reaped the benefits, but thanks to modern feminism, women now have the opportunity to reach for the bill just as quickly as men, but should they?

It depends on the dynamic of your relationship and what you decide is best for you.

You could be a one-for-one sort of person, where you prefer taking turns swiping the plastic; perhaps you won’t sleep unless you’ve paid for exactly half, or maybe you feel loved only when your partner pays for everything, either way, you have to do whatever works for you and your partner.

While it’s all well and good to do what’s best for you and your partner, there’s something about knowing what everyone else is doing that makes weighing up your best options a lot easier.

Think of it like comparing insurance policies: Am I getting the most out of this arrangement?

So I asked three South Australian couples how they manage their money.

Nadia and Neville*: One and a half years in a relationship

Nadia and Neville are both 24 and have been dating for 18 months. Both work full-time and live separately, renting properties with friends.

Nadia sat down with me to discuss how she and boyfriend Neville split the coin.

“We’re pretty open with how much we have in savings and how much we earn but we don’t have any shared assets yet, so there’s no need to share an account,” Nadia said.

How to split, what to split and where – it’s up to you both.

With their separate accounts, they pay for date nights using a “one-for-one” system, where one of them pays, and then next time, the other forks out the cash.

“We don’t keep track of how much things cost to the cent,” Nadia said, “We tend to go out pretty often so we’ll take turns paying for dinner or tickets or whatever, so it all evens out.

“Historically, he’s paid for more but when we first started dating I was also earning minimum wage so it took a while for it to even out.

“It’s now really helpful that we’re earning a pretty similar amount because there’s no need to factor our salaries in.”

Nadia and Neville are quite relaxed with their money and believe that “it’ll balance with the next purchase or the one after that”.

While their laissez-faire, one-for-one attitude works in their day-to-day lives, when it comes to larger purchases like trips away, they tend to do things differently.

“For trips, we split everything evenly down the middle – we’re both getting the same experience after all,” Nadia said.

The couple believe that as their relationship progresses, their financial situation will also go through a “natural progression”.

Nadia said that it’s all been made easier by the fact that Neville is an accountant.

Sarah and John*: 14 years — married

Sarah and John have been together for 14 years and married for seven. Sarah, 36, spoke to us about how they manage their finances.

“We have joint accounts and separate accounts,” she said. Sarah and John each have their pay enter their separate accounts each week and then deposit around 90 to 95 per cent of what comes in into their joint accounts. That leaves 5 to 10 per cent to spend however they please, whether that’s a daily coffee or gifts for each other.

The pair have a mortgage on their house together, which Sarah says comes from their joint account. In terms of household bills and expenses, those amounts also come from the account that they share.

Organising your finances can make life a bit easier for you and your partner. Figure out what works for the both of you. Picture: Istock

Sarah and John have two children and anything the kids require comes from the joint account.

Although date nights are a thing of the past for the couple, on the rare occasion they do sneak a night without the kids, it’s funded by their joint account.

Nights out with the kids come from the joint account but if they are going out on their own or with friends without each other, that comes from their separate account.

Sarah and John had separate accounts for a long time, splitting expenses 50/50, but as soon as they got married and had kids they joined them.

“We had planned to join them,” she said, “having kids and the associated costs, plus maternity leave was the final catalyst for us to finally combine them.”

Any big purchases are discussed and purchased together.

“Joint accounts makes life so much easier,” Sarah said, “if you’re tackling life together, have a house and kids together, it just makes sense.”

Tara and Tom*: Three years — in a relationship

Tara and Tom have been together for three years and are looking to buy a house together.

Right now, they have separate accounts but have been thinking about putting their funds together to increase their buying power when it comes time to sign the dotted line.

“We are really comfortable with any financial discussions to do with our future together.”

“We’ve have had a conversation about what we will do money-wise when we buy a house,” Tara said, “we are really comfortable with any financial discussions to do with our future together.

“When we buy a house, we would probably create a joint account to tackle bills and household expenses.”

While both Tara and Tom have and control their own money, they still consult each other whenever they make big financial decisions.

Both Tara and Tom are taking each moment as it comes and discussing every new step with each other.

So what should you do?

Most of the couples I spoke to kept their finances separate until something brought them together, whether that was buying a house or having kids.

But everyone’s situation is different, and the most important thing is to chat to your partner and discuss what works for the both of you.

How do you split your money? Sound off in the comments.