My husband wants to miss our first wedding anniversary for a golf trip

While some agreed with the Melbourne mum that they'd be "devasted too" a lot of people said they "wouldn't be bothered" and "would let him go." Where do you stand?

Eleanor Katelaris

2 min read

October 20, 2023 - 9:53AM

Sex Relationships

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In relationships, it's common to have mismatched priorities.

Whether it's work, leisure, chores, parenting... you name it. But, if you're a good team, you can usually come to some sort of compromise.

However, this can become a delicate dance when it involves sentimental milestones like anniversaries and birthdays.

Often, one party cares more than the other.

"But I show you I love you every day!" they'll say. "Why do we have to make such a big fuss?!"

It can be hard to explain why these sorts of things matter without getting worked up, seeming 'needy' or feeling like you're overreacting.

One Melbourne mum is currently grappling with this very issue and took to a mum's advice Facebook page to get some answers.

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Image: IStock

"Am I selfish for saying I don't want him going?"

"It's my husband and I's first wedding anniversary the same weekend that he has a golf trip," the anonymous mum wrote.

"He is so focused on having a boy's weekend and I am actually wondering if I am being selfish for saying I don't want him going."

She also added in the comments that he hasn't tried to make other plans with her to celebrate the occasion.

The mum then asked the group if she was being reasonable or not.

"I couldn't even fathom saying oh no sorry it's all about me"

Users were split down the middle. One suggested, "Just live and love each other every day. Wish each other a happy anniversary."

Another echoed this sentiment, adding, "It wouldn't bother me. I'd let him go. My husband went to Bali on a boys' trip on my birthday while I was pregnant. I encouraged it."

Then this woman shared, "Wouldn't bother me either. This is just the first anniversary, you've both got a long life together in front of you."

Finally, this commenter gave her two cents, writing, "Nup, have fun enjoy yourself... I couldn't even fathom saying oh no sorry it's all about me."

"Leave him. His priorities will never be you."

Other people were noticeably shocked at the nonchalance of some of these responses.

One woman expressed, "I'm gobsmacked at how many 'I wouldn't mind' responses you have received. If he didn't make himself available for a special occasion—especially the first wedding anniversary—I would be livid and honestly questioning his priorities."

A different mum exclaimed, "I'm sorry, but if he can’t even be bothered to be available for your first anniversary, then why bother with all the future ones too? If you’re not more important than bloody golf, then I’m sorry but you need to check your self-esteem."

"People saying they wouldn't care... is the bar so low for men? Don't accept this as the norm and tell him to get his act together or he can marry his golfing buddies instead," remarked one.

"I would be devasted," someone else revealed, while another went a step further and said, "I would leave him. His priorities will never be you. Save yourself the heartbreak."

"NOT OK," another member concluded. "He's had a whole year's notice to make room for your anniversary celebrations, so no boy's golf should highjack the priority in my opinion."