Day My Life Changed: ‘I had breast cancer … life will never be normal again’

In early October 2023 Rebecca Whitehead’s life changed when she was doing yoga at home. That day would change the course of the rest of her life. Here’s her story.

Rebecca Whitehead was in her prime. She was the fittest she’d ever been with the career of her dreams. She was loving her life – until she found a lump in her breast in October last year.

I was doing yoga at home and I brushed my hand past my crop top and I felt something that wasn’t normal.

I was 41 at the time, I just got a job at the University of Adelaide, I’d been working in higher education for 12 years but finally landed a job in senior management, working full-time, mother of two, I was at my fittest, at the gym six days a week. But I found this lump and at that moment I didn’t think much of it. I thought I’d go and see the GP. She was more concerned than I was and sent me off for a mammogram and ultrasound. I was in denial.

The world shifted before I heard the words, ‘You have cancer’, to be honest.

Bec Whitehead's life changed when she was doing yoga and she felt a lump on her breast. Picture: Kelly Barnes

I went to have a mammogram on Friday and then after I had the mammogram they said, ‘We need an ultrasound.’ I went into another room straightaway with these beautiful radiographers and had an ultrasound.

When one of the radiographers said to me, ‘I need to grab the doctor’ I started to think, ‘All right, what’s happening here?’

The doctor said they found three lumps and needed to do a biopsy immediately. She was wearing a mask but I still remember her eyes. Something in her eyes was telling me that I needed to have the biopsy done that day.

Bec Whitehead prior to receiving her diagnosis of breast cancer. Picture: Supplied,

They did the biopsy which was incredibly confronting and painful. You lay there and you have a massive needle in these three lumps, two of which I didn’t even know were there.

I had two lumps in my breast and they also took a biopsy from my lymph nodes. I think even if you don’t know a lot about cancer before you’re thrown into that world, you know what having something in your lymph nodes possibly means. So I was terrified. After the biopsy I had to wait for the results which is also terrifying for anybody who has had to wait for any type of medical results, especially cancer.

Five days later I went to see my GP. I remember being in the waiting room – it was breast cancer month so the surgery was decked out in pink.

It never would’ve meant anything to me previously. I may have briefly had a fleeting thought about someone I knew who had breast cancer or Jane McGrath or something but it was very confronting to be in that room waiting for results about breast cancer.

In the GP’s office she said the three words that no one ever wants to hear: ‘You have cancer.’

Then, from that moment, your whole world explodes. I knew from the moment they took the biopsy because I’m pretty good at reading energy and the energy in that room … it changed. You come out of that and all your friends and family try to reassure you, you’re fit, you’re young, you’re healthy, it’s probably nothing, but in the back of my mind, when people were saying that to me, I felt like it was something, and I even said that to my sister who is a nurse and she said I think we need to prepare ourselves for some bad news.

It was almost a strange relief to hear the doctor say those words because deep down I knew.

Bec with her children. Picture: Supplied

Bec at her gym's fundraiser halfway through her chemotherapy where they raised $8,800 for the McGrath Foundation. Picture; HelloThere Images

You have all these thoughts that come into your mind that you’ve never thought about before – ‘Will I get to go formal dress shopping with my daughter?’ These things that I’ve never questioned, whether I would be there for and suddenly I’m faced with my mortality and I’m wondering whether or not I am going to make it through? It’s the strangest, most surreal experience really.

The next thing is you’re referred to your treatment team and you’re waiting for a call from a breast care nurse. She called me the next day and I picked up my phone and I could barely speak. I’d spent the morning in bed dealing with this and I was in pieces. The next steps were to make an appointment with the surgeon and he outlined the treatment plan.

For me that was five to six months of chemotherapy, surgery, radiation and immunotherapy which I’m still having now.

I remember thinking, I can’t. How can I give five to six months of my life? But you have no choice. It becomes your new normal. When I stopped having chemotherapy, even though it was the most horrendous experience, it was weird because I didn’t know what to do with myself. It became so familiar and almost comforting to go there and think to myself ‘this is killing cancer’.

After you finish chemotherapy they give you an MRI to determine if the chemo has been successful, but they don’t know completely until you have surgery and they take the tumour out.

In my case, I had a full pathological response to chemo, which means the chemo got it.

It’s an amazing feeling but also strange because while you’re elated you’re cancer-free, you still have treatment. I still have active treatment and it’s just working through all the emotional and mental load of the last 10 months – that moment that your life changed.

What does survivorship look like?

I had to take a step back. People will say to me now, ‘You can get your life back to normal now.’ But it will never be normal again.

Life will never be what it was before. One of the hardest things is the fear of recurrence.

I used to have pain in my lower back which would be because I deadlifted 70kg but now I wonder if my cancer has returned. I never would have thought about that before.