Jade Henschke on how she never gave up on her motherhood dream

Jade Henschke admits how she and husband Tim just couldn’t give up on their dream of parenthood but every failed attempt was truly heartbreaking. Here they share their story.

Jade Henschke and husband Tim and baby Patrick. Picture: Kate & Co

Jade Henschke and her husband Tim look like any other proud parents when you see them with their two-year-old son, Patrick. But behind their smiles is a long IVF journey that Jade is sharing with others to give them hope.

The day Patrick was born was the most special day for both of us.
June 15, 2022. We had our little bubba. It was such a relief to just have him.

I was 41 and it still feels like a bit of a blur. I think I have a little bit of trauma from our IVF journey. (Jade and Tim endured 13 rounds, costing tens of thousands of dollars.)

But when I saw him, and I heard him scream, for the first time … Tim and I just were so happy; you couldn’t get the smiles off our faces.

Patrick was everything we thought he would be. But the main thing for us was that he was delivered safe and healthy. Tim and I were married in 2016, in November, and we started trying for a baby the following year. I was in my late 30s and we didn’t know what our journey was going to be like but, obviously, we thought it was going to be a lot easier. Unfortunately, it wasn’t.

We struggled for a good 12 months with not being able to conceive. Tim and I went and spoke to some specialists and we went down the IVF path.

Jade Henschke and husband Tim and baby Patrick. Picture: Supplied

Patrick was everything we thought he would be. Picture: Supplied

Unfortunately, we had three miscarriages and with one of them I was at 11 weeks.

That was very, very hard to navigate and, unfortunately, we don’t know why I wasn’t able to carry. We just kept on trying – we never ever, ever gave up. Tim and I put our trust in the specialists to support us on the journey.

We did change a couple of specialists because when you go through 13 IVF cycles, you need to try and prepare yourself, educate yourself and advocate for yourself as much as you can.

We just had to trust the process but it was very, very difficult.

Tim and I did it through Covid-19, as well, and basically put our life together on hold when it came to things like travelling overseas, because I was subjected to a lot of tests and injections. We also kept it very, very private. Only our closest friends knew.

When you go through IVF so many times your friends are on the journey with you.

They go through the ups and downs. And you also don’t want to disappoint them and say, “It hasn’t happened this time.” I think I had close to 16 embryo transfers. It was a really tough journey for us. When you go through IVF you have to wait 10 days before you do a pregnancy test. I remember Tim and I saying “we’re not going to do any more pregnancy tests” and “we’re just going to wait for the blood tests”.

But with baby Patrick, I couldn’t wait.

Four days after the embryo transfer, I saw a little red line. I didn’t tell Tim but I kept on testing non-stop, every single day, up until 11 days.

I could see this little line getting darker and darker and darker.

I was hiding all the tests but when I actually said, “Tim, I think we might be pregnant” I don’t think either of us believed it.

The day Jade Henschke and husband Tim laid their eyes on their baby they knew immediately his name would be Patrick. Picture: Supplied

We were just so nervous that we would lose our little bubba.

Tim and I had a lot of support and guidance from our specialists. We formed great relationships with them and the embryologists.

They were on the journey with us and wanted to make sure we were OK. All we wanted to hear was the heartbeat at six weeks.

I remember walking into the room with Tim and saying to the specialist, “Don’t let me look at the monitor because if there’s no heartbeat, I don’t want to see it.”

Tim was holding my hands and they turned the monitor around.

I said, “Just tell me if you hear a heartbeat.” That’s all I wanted.

The heartbeat was strong. And Paddy just kept on getting stronger and stronger and stronger, every time.

But it was very hard, emotionally. Tim and I didn’t tell our family and friends until we were over that eight-week mark just to be sure that we were okay.

When you’ve gone through so many rounds of IVF, there is a lot of anxiety, so Tim and I made the decision that we would find out if our baby was a boy or girl.

We wanted to control something on this journey.

On Boxing Day 2021, we got six of our friends together.

We had asked the doctor to write the gender on cards – including one to give to Tim’s parents because they were away and I wanted them to find out at the same time as us, at 3pm.

And now Patrick’s here with us.

We appreciate everything that we went through. It was a very difficult time, but I’ve got this beautiful little two year old who is absolutely thriving.

Samuel, his middle name, is after my cousin Sam, but Patrick is from Tim’s side. It is a name that is very close to him and his family.

I wanted Harry but I said to Tim, “Let’s just wait until we look at him and make a decision then.”

Immediately, when our bubba was born, I looked at Tim and I said, “He’s a Patrick.”