The exxy thing my daughter won't eat is costing me so much money - and sanity

"This isn't a food battle between us - it affects everyone and everything. And I just don't understand it."

There's a type of food that my 12-year-old girl just won't touch, and I find it bewildering.

One day, she'll be digging into a meal, asking for a second serving.

But if I offer the same food the next day, she'll flat out refuse it.

She doesn't seem to be a fussy eater in the traditional sense - she loves a variety of foods. 

But she just won't eat leftovers, and it's a major issue.

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"She won't even sit at the table if it's leftovers"

I know you're not supposed to battle with your kids about food, because it could make issues worse.

But this doesn't seem to be a control issue/power move/fussy about certain foods. 

For example, I can make a lasagne. It's one of the family's favourite meals. My daughter will happily devour two decent servings when it's just come out of the oven.

Really, as a mum, watching your kids nourish themselves is one of the greatest joys. So I think, great, she loved that, and there's plenty left over for the next night.

Everyone else will eat a meal they enjoyed, two nights in a row, no questions asked. There's even occasionally enthusiasm and mild gratitude. (Ha ha.) But as soon as my daughter sees it's 'leftovers' she won't even sit at the table.

I find this so frustrating for a number of reasons.

Firstly, what she's doing just doesn't make sense to me. 24 hours ago, she was wolfing down a second serving. It's the same food - maybe even better now that it's had real time for the flavours to develop.

She doesn't say that it smells, or it tastes bad now. She just says, "I don't feel like it. We already had this last night." 

Which leads me to believe she's just acting spoilt. She wants something fresh, new, exciting. But life doesn't work like that. I find that infuriating because I have tried very hard to not raise spoilt kids.

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"The other kids try to refuse, too"

When she says that to me, I see red. I think of all the kids who'd love a home-cooked meal by a parent in a safe home. She doesn't even get how lucky she is that we have food choice, and that it's not dangerous for her to ask for more, or ask for something else.

Do you know how many kids do not have that?

Interestingly, her younger siblings try to copy her sometimes, but eventually stop fussing and enjoy what's put in front of them. Why can't she?

Her attitude is so privileged and yes, when she was younger, I'd let her eat anything else because I just wanted to ensure she was fed. I thought it was something she'd grow out of.

Instead, she'll watch me make batches of food - soups, curries, pasta - on a Sunday as food prep for the week. I work full time, have three kids, and try really hard to plan ahead so we're not eating take out.

My intentions and expectations are clear.

My daughter also knows it's not just about nutrition, but also about cost. I've tried to educate her that batch cooking, meal prepping, leftovers, are all a crucial part of the family budget. And it's perfectly normal is many cultures.

It is much more cost effective to make food in bulk - and I'm beginning to resent that this very basic intention is something she's not on board with.

There's something about serving her the same meal the next night, or packing it for lunch the following day, that turns her off. She'd rather make herself vegemite and toast than eat a lamb curry two nights in a row.

I don't know what else to say or try. 

Originally published as The exxy thing my daughter won't eat is costing me so much money - and sanity