If my kid 'loses' stuff at school, it’s on the other parent to return it

"Actually look at the lunchbox: if my child's name is on it, and you don't return it - that's stealing."

3 min read

February 15, 2024 - 1:11PM

Parenting

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Despite being bright, and an avid reader and maths wizz (this comes from the teachers, not me as a biased parent), my son is notorious for losing things. None have ever resurfaced; they've been sucked into the black hole that is the playground. Or, my theory is, they're in other children's schoolbags.

My son has barely been back at school this year, and already, multiple items are MIA. On the second day of school, he had no hat.

By the next week, his recess box had disappeared. In the third week, his backup hat did not come home. I can't even begin to talk about the sports jacket that hasn't been seen since I packed it.

Last year was no different; but I thought there'd be at least a couple of weeks this year before I had headed back to my BFF at the uniform shop. (Yes, she's my BFF because I'm there so often.)

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Dear lunchbox, please come home, we miss you

Sometimes, he will triumphantly bring home a lost item grimy from its time in exile at the school’s lost-and-found and hoist it above his head to a chorus of cheers — only to have it go missing again a few days later.

Every time he gets in the car, I hold my breath and ask, "Did you find your hat? Do you have your water bottle? Where is your jacket?" - only to exhale in disappointment; they will spend another night away from home.

In the mornings, I subtly remind him to look for his missing items at lost property. To which I get the usual eye roll and "OK" as he huffs his way out of the vehicle. Knowing full well that he won't.

So I do... I go rummaging, which in itself makes me want to shower afterwards. There have been times that I've been lucky, and my child's name is on the hat or jacket.

But this year... not even once.

Is there a black hole on the playground?

So I had to ask myself: if it's not in lost property, it's not in his locker, it's not in the playground or the car... where has my son's very clearly and boldly labelled recess and hat got to?

Now I know his name isn't unique, but his first name, middle initial and surname are. So, who the F is pretending to be my son?!

The only conclusion is it has to be in another child's bag.

Things don't just disappear! Or walk away, as I explained to my boys, who are always so surprised when their things aren't in the bags. Usually, said bags are unzipped. And they wonder why their things aren't there.

Image: Jordana Shell

"It's stealing"

I classify it as stealing, knowingly taking another person's property and not even trying to return it; they may or may not replace the label. Most wouldn't even care.

So, parents, I'm looking at you. Check your children's bags!

I go through my boys' bags on the daily. I'm not waiting till the end of term to put my hand in and pull out a mouldy piece of fruit that has made a friend. I know if something in that bag doesn't belong to them. It hasn't happened often, but when it does, I message the parent and ensure the item is returned.

Likewise, if an item in lost property belonging to a family I know, I return it to them. Because I know replacing school accessories isn't cheap. I get it.

Can't we make a pact that if we see another child's name on an item in our possession, we make every effort to return it? Or take it to the lost property so I can recover it? I doubt my son even steps foot near it.

Yes, he should be responsible for his belongings, but he's a child, and still learning. He makes mistakes.

What is intentional, though, is seeing a child's name that isn't yours and ignoring it because your kid has lost their hat or lunchbox.

To all those parents, I say, stop encouraging stealing and start encouraging owning up.