OPINION: If you treat your daughter like a diva, they’ll probably become a diva

"Being a girl mum is fun until your seven-year-old diva is getting shellac every month, wearing platform UGGs and asking for Starbucks before school," a mum has shared in an unrelatable to many viral video.

Since becoming a mum, I’m acutely aware of the conflicting amount of parenting advice out there- welcome but mostly unsolicited.

“Don’t hold your baby too much; you’ll spoil them,” says one midwife.

“That’s an old wives’ tale; you can’t spoil a baby,” rebuts a developmental psychologist.

“Don’t over-praise your child,” writes a Danish parenting book.

“Build your child up with praise and compliments,” refutes a parenting article.

It truly is never-ending, and knowing what it takes to be the best parent you can be to raise a happy and healthy child is an endless pursuit for answers; alas, I persevere. 

However, I do think I can spot a problem in one recent video shared by Amy, who goes by @thatmamaamy, on TikTok.

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A baby diva

Amy, the mum who inadvertently fostered a baby diva, laid bare the consequences of her indulgent parenting. 

She confessed, "Being a girl mum is fun until your seven-year-old diva is getting shellac every month, wearing platform UGGs and asking for Starbucks before school." 

As curious followers probed for details, Amy reluctantly divulged the eye-watering costs of her daughter's ensemble—a testament to the splurge that has become their parenting style. 

From $93 Abercrombie Kids jeans to $230 UGG boots and a $170 Columbia jacket, it's clear that budget-friendly parenting is not on this family's agenda.

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"Being a girl mum is fun until..." Source: TikTok

High maintenance or questionable parenting?

I couldn’t help but be surprised that this mum was sharing the video, lamenting her child’s behaviour.

Does she remember she’s the parent and decides if her child should own designer clothing, have pre-school Starbucks and get regular manicures?

If you’ve set the bar that these things are ‘standard’, then I can’t help but blame the child for expecting it on the regular. 

“Sometimes I wish I had a boy”

The mum went to the comments section to reply to some of the 4,000 comments the video has amassed, with mixed reactions.

“As a boy mum, I’m happy cause I’ll be stressed out,” wrote one mum. 

“I can barely keep up with myself.”

Here, Amy replied, “Girl!! Sometimes, I wish I had a boy stressing every day with this diva.”

Can you see the steam coming from my ears yet?

Just because she’s a girl doesn’t mean you should spend more money on her. 

This little lady's outfit costs more than I've spent on myself in a long time! Source: TikTok

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If you’ve got it, why not?

Of course, this isn’t a rant on those who have and those who don’t- we’re not getting into a conversation on money and the rising cost of living, which apparently is hitting some more than others. 

If you have the disposable income to spoil your kids, that’s your choice, but at the end of the day, you cherish the memories, not the ‘things’.

Looking back on my childhood, which was very modest compared to this little lady’s, I couldn’t tell you what I got on my seventh birthday, but I remember making the cake with my mum and having a blast.

I don’t think I owned anything designer until I bought a pair of Jimmy Choo’s for my wedding, which I snagged on sale- winning!

These little indulgences became treats, and I'm grateful that I can enjoy them occasionally for something special.

Treat yourself

I honestly can’t wait to do mini spa days, shopping trips and have girl time with my baby. 

When I found out I was having a daughter, I imagined matching outfits and painting our nails. But, I like to think if I knew I was having a son, I’d be just as invested in doing what he’d want to, whatever that may be.

In a world where once you post something online, it stays forever, I hope this mum remembers that her words carry consequences, and if her daughter comes across how ‘stressed’ her mum is for having a daughter, it could be detrimental.

But at the end of the day, if you treat a child like a diva, chances are, they'll become a diva.

Originally published as OPINION: If you treat your daughter like a diva, they’ll probably become a diva