I wish I hadn't wished away so many school holidays with my girls

"Realising this year would be the end of primary school made me regret the many previous times I was stressed and fed up with all the holiday arguing and complaining."

Shona Hendley

3 min read

January 25, 2024 - 12:42PM

Parenting

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As a back-to-school notification came through on my phone from my daughters’ primary school, I did a double take.

Surely, they’re sending that a bit early I thought to myself while simultaneously checking the date.

But no, the message wasn’t early, it was January 22nd signifying the fast-approaching end of the summer holidays... and the realisation that my girls would be back at school next week.

No, none of this is earth-shattering news I know. Back to school is the main event on the majority of any school-aged parents’ calendar, whether it’s because they need to do the dreaded school shoe shopping, stationary quest or because they are counting down the days of no longer having to juggle supervision and work.

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"Seven weeks feels like seven months"

But for me, it wasn’t any of these things (although I was doing many of them). Instead, it was a feeling I had never had before (at least not in January), it was the thought that these school holidays went by so quickly and that it felt like only a couple of weeks since they wrapped up the school year. I really just couldn’t believe that they would be heading back to school next week and it was time to hit restart on the school year again!

Truth be told, I have never, ever, had this thought at the end of the summer holidays. Nor, did I think I ever would.

It’s not that I don’t love my kids or spending time with them, just that these holidays are long and usually, the seven weeks or so feel like seven months.

It feels like this because in my case (which is probably similar to many other homes) my girls argue (a lot) and they regularly state their ever-growing boredom levels in such a dramatic fashion that you’d think that they may actually die from having nothing to do.

But this summer, although arguments and boredom comments have occurred, there were far fewer of them and our time together wasn’t as much of a juggle as it usually is, which made for a much more fun (and fast) break.

In addition, this time together, well, the truth is, I became aware of how precious it is and how fast it goes by, that one day they are starting school and the next, well like my daughter, they are finishing it (primary school at least).

And because I love a good downward spiral, this made me regret previous years when I was stressed and fed up with all of this arguing and “I’m boreds.”

Image: Supplied

"I wish I'd taken that time and enjoyed it"

It made me regret when I had wished the time to go faster so that school could restore some normalcy and routine; when I had wished for some quiet periods where I wasn’t regularly interrupted by children wanting or needing something or complaining about a very minor issue; when I had wished for some hours where kids were occupied elsewhere and that I could turn my parenting switch off.

Instead, I now wished that I had taken that time, on those long weeks and warm days and enjoyed having my two daughters with me more. I wished that I had spent quality time when I had it.

So, yes, in other words, my mum guilt has washed over me like a huge wave. And I say mum guilt because I always did the best that I could over the school holidays and like many other parents would know, that a lot of what I wished for simply isn’t possible while also working. But like another universal fact when it comes to mum guilt, it just doesn’t have logic and in addition, it has just really hit home how fast our kids grow up and time really does seem to go by so quickly.

Now as my eldest walks into the school gate next week, it will be her last first day at the only school she has ever known, her last first day with her best friends who may end up at other high schools the following year. It will be the last year for her to be involved in all of the school events and activities, of being at school alongside her sister, of wearing the red and black school uniform, of being a primary schooler.

And then, in two more years, her sister will follow suit.

So, in our last week at home together, I will do my best to spend quality time with my kids, to just hang out and be there. Because this time next week, while it may be much quieter, I know that I will miss them, whinging and all.