'My son took my g-string to daycare. That’s not even the most embarrassing thing'

 This kid is the Houdini of g bangers. 

You know we really don’t talk enough about how humbling it is to have children. 

Sure, they have us digging super deep to find the strength to carry on when we're sick and tired.

Seasoned parents will tell you how much they’ve looked inward and grown in order to become the best version of themselves after having kids.

But my God, no one talks about how much they can truly embarrass you.

This is found out the hard way.

No one talks about how much they can truly embarrass you Image: Supplied

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"What's this baby?"

One afternoon, upon collecting my son from daycare, I discovered he had something with him from home.

We don’t usually allow toys or special things to go to school just to avoid the chance of losing it or any tantrums when he’s expected to share.

“What's this baby?” I say, “this is mine from home...” my son tells me.

But this wasn’t just any special thing from home.

This was my underwear. A g-string of all things. Black. Sexy right? Wrong.

I have two toddlers. I haven’t bought myself new underwear in eons. This particular g-banger was a saggy old boner killing embarrassment. 

I am absolutely mortified as I notice the educator grin next to me: "Yeah Em, Angus has been super proud of that all day,” she laughs. 

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Oh. My. God. No. 

Because not only is this g-string feral, but it’s got a bleach-stained crotch. 

This situation honestly can’t get worse.

I go to pick up my youngest from his daycare room, and I’m greeted by similar grins from the educators in there.

Word has spread fast. I’m trying to laugh it off, but I’m mortified.

The next day, I tell my husband: "please check his bag" and my husband assures me he definitely has the coast clear.

So imagine my horror when I go in that afternoon to collect the boys and find out he’s done it again.

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"They will say anything"

This kid is the Houdini of g-bangers. Where is he even getting them from?!

His beautiful young educator tells me with glee that he went over to her at story time and stretched it over her legs.

From knee to knee while she was sitting cross-legged.

This cannot get worse, can it? Yes.

Because when we get home, I have another talk with Angus about taking things that aren’t mine, and when I ask where he got it from, he tells me he took it out of the dirty clothes basket.

So my dirty g-bangers have been on display for two full days at this daycare.

While the educators think it’s hysterical, I am dying inside, but logically I know that if this happened to someone else, I would find it hilarious too.

Can our children embarrass us any further?

My God maybe my g-string wouldn’t even need to stretch from knee to knee if I didn’t have children.

They say time heals all wounds, but I honestly wasn’t sure until commiserating with a girlfriend of mine later.

"Yeah" she says. "They will say anything! We were at the mall loos the other day and Tommy asked me super loudly, “Mummy why is your vagina so hairy and gross?!” Ha!

Turns out kids are pretty funny when they’re embarrassing someone else.

Originally published as 'My son took my g-string to daycare. That’s not even the most embarrassing thing'