Are push presents going too far, or do new mums deserve them?

“My husband's friend bought his wife a BMW 4WD, and another friend got a diamond ring.”

There’s nothing better than having a fellow mum friend to grab coffee with, share pictures of your kids’ poop to ask if it looks normal, and just laugh through the utter chaos that comes with being a mum.

We recently got onto an interesting topic discussing the extent some couples are going to when it comes to push presents.

After carrying and giving birth to a 3.5kg baby, I was in total amazement at what both my body and mind went through over the 9 months plus 15 and a half hour labour, but at no point did I consider a push present– perhaps a missed opportunity?

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What is a push present?

A push present, also known as a 'baby bauble,' is a gift given to a mother after giving birth. 

The gesture acknowledges the hard work and emotional and physical effort put into delivering the baby, especially during the "pushing" stage of labour. 

Traditionally given by the spouse or partner, despite the name, push presents are also exchanged for mothers who undergo c-sections.

The concept of push presents traces back hundreds of years to India's Godh Bharai ceremony, similar to modern baby showers. 

This tradition involves celebrating and blessing the mother-to-be with gifts like food, jewellery, and family heirlooms. 

In the 20th century, push presents have gained popularity, fueled by social media and celebrities. 

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My bestie's push present was waiting for her when she got home from hospital. Source: Supplied

The range of gifts

Circling back to the conversation with my bestie, we shared tales of gifts we knew were given to other mum friends.

My husband's friend bought his wife a BMW 4WD, and another friend got a 1.2-carat diamond ring from a boutique jeweller in Sydney's Strand arcade.

My bestie told me she was gifted a Gucci handbag, and her colleague was given a ‘mummy makeover’ worth over $20k and included breast and abdominal surgery.

Then, a mum in my sister’s mother’s group shared she didn’t talk to her husband for three days after he didn’t get a "good enough" push present. 

“My body and life will never be the same, and he decided to skimp out on a present… he needed to learn a lesson,” she proudly shared between sips of her latte- my sister decided not to have coffee with her again!

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This new mum was gobsmacked when her hubby gifted her a 1.2 carat diamond ring Source: Supplied

A gift of a different kind

I always thought of push presents as quite American, but it seems they are gaining momentum down under.

While I’m a huge believer in ‘each to their own’, I hope these displays of affection weren’t just a ‘get-out-of-jail’ card when it came to the monumental responsibility that comes with being a new parent.

I was more thankful that my husband made me a coffee every morning and would do the laundry and feed me while I fed the baby.

He got up with me in the night as I struggled to get our baby to latch, and he gave me time to myself each day to rest, shower, or do nothing at all.

If I got a Cartier bracelet, would that have negated any of his parental responsibilities?

Plus, if we just had a baby, chances are our finances are being stretched in some capacity– just imagine all the nappies you could buy with the cost of a new BMW!

Originally published as Are push presents going too far, or do new mums deserve them?